You're a Good Man, Andy Brown

Let me just apologize in advance: this recap is kind of dull. For real. YAGMAB (best episode title acronym ever, by the way) is a pretty good episode; not great, but the Harold/Amy and Andy/kids material is strong. But it does not recap well, at all. But hey, all the subsequent episodes do, so yay for that, at least.

We open with the sound of someone clicking away on computer keys. I suddenly feel deeply meta. Then we hear Andy complaining that he can’t see any photos, so the computer and/or internet must be broken! Hee. Ephram patiently explains that nothing’s broken; Andy just needs to “turn on the wireless thing.” Andy does so, and marvels “Oh. Oh, cool!” Ephram wonders if Andy’s actually a neurosurgeon. Andy: “Do you know where your globus pallidus is? I don’t think so.” He then demands that Ephram show him how to exit the website. Ephram directs him to the address bar, but Andy decides he’s good where he is and dismisses Ephram. We are then shown the computer screen: Andy’s on a website with an indecipherable name, but an unmistakable excited and/or sweaty-looking heart logo. Ephram is amused. Andy admits that “no one’s more depressed about this” than he is, but that dating sites are the way all the cool kids are meeting these days. “I mean, Diane Lane’s doing it, how bad can it be?” Heh. Ephram, barely suppressing his laughter, reminds Andy that it was a movie, though Andy astutely points out that “it was a movie she agreed to do, so she must have found the character plausible.” Ephram gets over it, and says that it’s no big deal that Andy’s looking for love on-line; he just didn’t know that Andy was looking, period. “Kind of thought you had a thing for Nina.” Andy indignantly asks why he would “have a thing for a person who’s got a live-in boyfriend whom...she’s very forgiving and she’s not even available so no! No! No thing!” Strangely, Ephram doesn’t seem to buy this, and finally raises his eyebrows in Andy’s general direction. This prompts Andy to wonder what other choice he has, since he’s already tried acceptance and being happy for her; now he wants to try something for himself, since it’s better than thinking about what he can’t have. He asks if that made any sense. Ephram, who’s suddenly identifying with his father quite a bit, assures him it did. A new window suddenly opens on the screen, raising Andy’s curiosity. Ephram explains that someone’s IM-ing him, and asks who “Hottie Pilate” is. Andy: “Someone very bendy?” Me: "..." He continues that he’s never met this person, but they’ve emailed each other a few times. He gets nervous about their first “semi-live experience” and admits he’s not ready. “I don’t spell well under pressure.” I think I would actually watch a show that consisted of nothing more than Andy using the internet while Ephram stands by. Like, Episode 1: Andy Edits a Wikipedia Entry. Ephram suggests he get ready, because Hottie wants to have dinner with him. Andy frets that she might be 93. Ephram: "Then you'll have a good mah-jongg partner." Andy doesn't seem to appreciate Ephram's version of support, though I find it delightful. Ephram then realizes that “this is actually happening, isn’t it? Your social life is surpassing mine.” Andy reminds him, though, that he’s “flirting with a computer.” He asks what “TTYL” means. Ephram explains, then adds that “KOS” means “Kid over shoulder,” in case he wants to warn Hottie against saying anything inappropriate. Andy complains that he has six surgeries coming up, yet has to spend time learning "how to talk in initials." Ephram: “See, this is why I choose to be alone.” Amen, brother. Ephram walks out, leaving Andy to do battle with Abbr. Wrld. all by his lonesome.

Andy’s office. Offscreen, he pops in an arm bone that had come out of its joint or something. I don't know, it’s gross. His cute, kind of scruffy patient asks if that was necessary; Andy suggests that it could have set on its own, but it’s “cooler to pop your bones back in on my own.” Andy then examines Cute Patient’s eyes, provoking said patient to ask what he’s doing. Andy wants to do a quick check-up, given that Cute Patient has just had his third accident in a month. Cute Patient wonders if that’s weird. Andy thinks it’s “a little improbable for a 29-year-old rabbinical student with perfect vision,” and if you think it’s at all significant that they go out of their way to mention that he’s a rabbinical student, well, you’re not wrong. Andy asks if Cute Rabbi is ever dizzy or short of breath. He takes this to mean that Andy is saying he’s out of shape, and starts to ramble something about how his mother always told him he had her thighs. Okay. Andy just wants an answer, and Cute Rabbi is a little evasive before finally admitting that he is, sometimes. Andy gently reminds him that it’s not a test, but Cute Rabbi suddenly panics, assuming that Andy thinks he has some horrible disease. He falls backward on the exam table and starts going on about how his mother always compares tumors to grapefruits while his father likens them to melons. “The two of them make a deadly fruit salad!” Hee. Andy: “Really. Charming family you’ve got there.” Andy continues that he’s sure nothing’s wrong, but just wants a CAT scan for a more comprehensive exam, and smiles as he leads Cute Rabbi over to his desk. Andy suddenly asks how Delia’s bat mitzvah lessons are going, and see? Told you it was relevant. He also asks, for confirmation, if Cute Rabbi’s seeing her the next day. Cute Rabbi takes a moment to recall that he is, and adds that Delia’s doing “...okay,” which isn’t what Andy wants to hear. Cute Rabbi explains that he’s new to the whole bar/bat mitzvah training thing, and hadn’t given much consideration to “how moody teenagers can be on their spiritual paths.” Andy replies that they can be “moody on their paths toward the refrigerator. It’s what they do.” Cute Rabbi concedes this, but haltingly adds that parental involvement can help, and suggests that Andy join them for a lesson. Andy would like to, but explains that he and Delia have been having problems and that she wouldn’t want him around. Cute Rabbi’s all “I don’t want my parents around but they’re always there anyway, because I’m this close to saying 'oy' a lot and talking about my mother's affection for Barbra!” and also tells Andy that his parental duties involve both protecting and annoying his children. He asks if he can count on his attendance at the next lesson. Andy gives in, but then remembers that he can’t make it, because he has “a thing with a Hottie.” Hee! “I mean, a Pilate.” Cute Rabbi seems to think this is all TMI. Andy finally concludes that he can just postpone it, which is exactly what Cute Rabbi wanted to hear.

Office of Prof. Laurie, who is at the tail end of an angry phone conversation with some guy named Richard, regarding something at the school. Amy enters with a paper, and offers to just drop it on the desk, but Prof. Laurie wants to vent for a few minutes. Cut to the two exiting the building as Prof. Laurie explains that the only doctor at the teaching hospital who knows how to perform an abortion is leaving. Amy can’t believe it, and Prof. Laurie goes on that the students who learned it are all over the “blue parts” of the country and the school won’t hire anyone else and soon abortion’s legality won’t matter because no one will know how to do it anyway. Amy is suddenly stricken with a case of abject stupidity, and says that she knows someone who knows the procedure. Prof. Laurie wonders “what kind of circles [Amy’s] running in.” Amy explains that it’s her father, and that she knows he’s performed the procedure before, and offers to talk to him about it. Prof. Laurie finds this “amazing” and asks if she’s sure he’d be interested in helping. Amy replies that Harold’s been wanting to get more involved in her life, so it couldn’t hurt to ask. Prof. Laurie is happy, and calls Amy her “savior.” Amy is delighted.

High school parking lot. Ephram “can’t believe” that he’s chosen to spend his day off rescuing Kyle from having to take the bus home. Kyle promises to thank him in his liner notes someday. Ephram suddenly asks if Kyle’s going to tell him about his father, because he [Ephram] heard that he [Kyle’s Dad] had called him [Kyle]. Kyle says that he wasn’t planning on telling Ephram, but guesses that his mom said something. Ephram remarks that Kyle’s mother just wanted to make sure he was okay, and then asks if he is okay. Kyle: “Have you been watching Lifetime or something?” Easy joke, but the dialogue here is a little flat, so I’ll allow it. Ephram continues that he knows things are weird between Kyle and his father, and that he’s there for him to talk to. “Trust me, I know how it feels. I hated my dad until, like, this morning.” There! That’s better. Kyle, however, denies hating his dad. Ephram wonders what the problem is, then. Kyle’s unhappy about the situation between his parents; he thinks his father was a bad husband, but a good dad. Ephram asks if Kyle wants to see him. Kyle defensively replies that he didn’t actually say that, but Ephram assures him he’s not on trial, and was only asking. Kyle thinks it’s all a moot point, as visiting his father “would be like treason, or something. I can’t do that to my mom.” Ephram casually wonders what would happen if she didn’t know. Kyle would consider this lying, but Ephram says it would be more like “spar[ing] her feelings,” and reminds him that he has a right to see his father without putting his mother in the middle of things. Kyle ponders this, and the two walk silently for a few moments before Ephram adds that he could go with him. Kyle takes this to mean that Ephram wants to meet his father, but Ephram explains that he only means giving Kyle a ride. “Besides, it wouldn’t feel right if I didn’t spend every free moment I had driving you around.” Kyle jokes that he could get Ephram a chauffeur’s cap. “Cover up that mop that you call hair.” Hee, even if Ephram does have a new haircut here. Guess Kyle was as traumatized by “Ghosts” as I was, except that the hat there only made things worse.

Nina’s Cucina. She’s making dinner while Sam sits at the table and colors or something. Jake enters, and Nina announces that they’re having lasagna, and hands him a glass of wine. Jake thinks it smells great, but doesn’t think he’ll have time to enjoy it as he has an NA meeting to get to. Nina thought he only had to attend the one the night before, but Jake explains that he has to go every night that week. He wonders if he didn’t tell her, and Nina pulls the opposite move, saying that she must have forgotten, and they chuckle awkwardly. He does assure her, however, that he’ll be there for the next night’s dinner, as he’s switching to morning meetings. Nina will support “whatever works best for” him. Jake sets the wineglass down on the counter and adds that he can’t have any. Nina finds this odd, since he didn’t have a drinking problem – “Or did you?,” she adds, in a moment that really speaks well of the whole communication part of their relationship. Jake says he did not, but that following all the tenets of the program requires that he give up other potentially addictive substances, too. Nina thinks this “makes total sense” and apologizes. Jake insists that she stop apologizing, and remarks that they only need to make a few small adjustments. Nina chirps that there’s “nothing we can’t handle, right?” She grins broadly, and Jake smiles back before remembering that he has to go. He kisses her goodbye, and pats Sam on the head. Sam tells Jake to “have a good meeting!” and oh the therapy bills this kid is going to have in about ten years. After Jake’s departure, Sam asks for how long Jake won’t be dining with them. Nina thinks this is a “good question.” She starts to take a sip of wine, as Sam stares at her, but sets down her glass before doing so, and admits she has “no idea.”

The next day, Andy opens the door to leave the house, only to find Nina on his doorstep. She asks, by way of time-establishment, if he’s going to work, which he is; he asks if Sam’s okay. Nina takes this as an opening to start rambling about the “transition period” where Jake is concerned. “But, you know, he’s trying, and I’m trying, and everybody’s trying!” Whee! Andy smiles, but Nina finally comes down from her uppers, and pleadingly asks if he can be five minutes late for work. He says he can be, and she marches in and collapses into an armchair. Andy follows, and asks what the problem is. Nina thinks she is, that she doesn’t know how to handle the new situation and thought everything would magically be fine. “But there’s rules, and steps...” Andy interjects that there are twelve, and they’re not easy to climb. I’m sure that’s just what she wanted to be reminded of, Andy. Nina feels like she needs a “crash course” in all this, and recounts the previous night’s wine mistake. Andy is helpful some more as he tells her it was a bad idea. Nina says that she knows that now. “Now I won’t even keep cookies in the cookie jar because I’m afraid sugar will be, like, a gateway drug!” Heh. Andy chuckles, but Nina insists it’s not funny, especially not after everything she told Jake at the rehab center. She pleads for help, which Andy offers; however, Nina neglected to inform Andy that “help” for her consists of “coming over for dinner tonight.” Andy starts to question this, but Nina continues that if they just have a normal family dinner everything will be fine! or at least will be until she’s had a chance to better prepare herself for life with Jake. She reiterates her plea, but Andy explains that he can’t, as he has “this thing with Delia and a rabbi.” [Insert your own bar-related joke.] Nina asks about the next night, then, but Andy brings up the postponement of his original plans for that night. Nina is desperate, and Andy finally relents, saying he’ll reschedule. Nina tells him he’s saving her life and possibly Jake’s, and exits happily. Andy, however, is rather glum.

Abbott living room. Harold has a big bowl of popcorn and the remote, and is enjoying something on TV. Amy enters, and Harold asks if she’s ever watched the “truly fascinating” Beauty and the Geek, and, yeah, yeah, cute to reference the show that took over your timeslot for the 2005-6 hiatus, but at this point it also seems just a little bit like aiding and abetting the enemy, and I'm just glad Harold wasn't laughing about Ruthie Camden's wacky antics. Amy gives him a “that’s great,” but wants to get down to business, so asks if he has a minute. He does, because he has Tivo, and cheerfully asks what he can do for her. Amy explains that she’s been talking with Prof. Laurie, and actually asks if she’s told Harold about her, and, like, I’m fairly certain characters on other TV shows have heard about Prof. Laurie by this point, Amy. Harold says she’s been mentioned “on a thrice-daily basis.” Amy has opted to take the students-making-a-difference tack, saying there’s something “big” going on and she (and Prof. Laurie and Harold) might be able to help. Harold, as it happens, has “been known to make an academic difference or two. I once persuaded the dean of students to enforce a dress code in the dining hall. Can you imagine people eating in their shorts?” Hee! Amy is somehow both underwhelmed by his notion of what constitutes a student-based movement and overwhelmed by his astounding dorkiness. She stays on track, though, and says this situation has to do with the med school. Harold’s interested enough, but as Amy finally gets to the part about the retirement of the doctor and what he taught, Harold looks just a little unnerved. Amy then gets to the actual request, and, in an inappropriately peppy way, says “Why not you?” Harold only asks “Me?” and Amy assures him that it won’t be too time-consuming. But that’s not Harold’s concern; no, what he wonders is why Amy would think he’d be qualified to teach it. Amy asks if he’s saying that he’s not. Harold insists that he is not, as he’s never performed an abortion before. Amy is visibly angry about her father’s LIES, but simply replies that she thought he would know. Harold apologizes for not being able to help, then turns the TV back on and starts talking about his favorite Geek. Amy is angry some more.

So, Andy, Delia, and Cute Rabbi hang out in Andy’s dining room. Andy is interested in hearing about Delia’s bat mitzvah speech, and mentions that he’s written a few speeches and could help. “Granted, they were usually about procedures to salvage the frontal lobe, but maybe we could steal something!” Delia is skeptical, since her speech has to relate to her Torah portion. Andy asks what its theme is, then, and Cute Rabbi cheerfully declares that her bat mitzvah takes place the week of Kedoshim, meaning that her portion has to do with law. “Laws about the festivals, and how you deal with the lepers, and goats, and scapegoats...” Delia remarks that she told Andy it was hard. Andy glares at Cute Rabbi. “You never said there’d be goats.” Cute Rabbi, however, remembers that the portion also includes “Love your neighbor as yourself,” which he deems more relevant to today’s world than anything about lepers, before making a semi-joke about leper colonies. Neither Delia nor Andy laugh. Cute Rabbi turns to Andy and sincerely asks him to “forgive me if you’ve done work in that area, Doctor.” Hee. Andy ignores him, and decides that he could work with “love thy neighbor.” Delia reminds him that it’s about her, not Andy, and Andy defensively replies that he’s only thinking aloud. Delia tells him to “forget it” and snots that he probably doesn’t remember very much from her childhood, anyway. Andy reminds her that she’s still a kid, at least until her bat mitzvah, and says that he actually does remember quite a bit. “Like that trap you set for the tooth fairy that almost took my whole finger off?” Cute Rabbi is just loving this. Skeptical Delia wonders why she would have wanted to kill the tooth fairy; Andy explains that Delia only wanted to talk to her because she thought she would be pretty, and asks if Delia recalls the tinfoil tiara she made for her. Delia stonily replies that she doesn’t remember any of it. Cute Rabbi laughs, then noisily bumps into the fireplace. Andy suggests he sit, but Cute Rabbi says moving around helps him think, and encourages Delia and Andy to continue. Andy suddenly remembers Delia breaking her arm while climbing down a neighbor’s fire escape. Delia denies this ever having happened, and Andy realizes that she’s right; it actually happened to a patient of his. Oof. Good one, Andy. Delia: “Great. Maybe Lizzie Dean needs help with her bat mitzvah.” Heh. Andy narrows his eyes at her, while Cute Rabbi suddenly announces that he used to have a girlfriend named Lizzie. Delia doesn’t really care. Cute Rabbi falls all over the fireplace some more. Delia requests a break, and Andy goes even further, suggesting they end the get-together. Cute Rabbi agrees that it’s best to “go out on a high note,” and thinks that a good way to ensure this actually happens is to go out for ice cream, which he apparently enjoys doing in the “chilly” months [of April, when this episode actually aired]. Delia and Andy think this is a fine plan. However, on their way out, Cute Rabbi realizes that he’s forgotten where he left his keys. Andy offers to drive, but both men are a little concerned about the memory loss.

Brown house, some time later. Ephram is there, for some reason, doing what looks like homework. Delia stomps in with a cup of ice cream and slams it on the table, telling him he can have the rest. Andy calls out that he can still help her with the speech, an offer she totally ignores. Ephram kind of can’t believe that Andy wants to help with Delia’s bat mitzvah speech, given that he doesn’t even know what ‘mazel tov’ means. Andy: “Yeah, that’s the cookie that tastes like a biscotti, right? Oh, no, no, that’s mandel bread. Sounds like mazel tov.” He asks what class Ephram’s studying for, but Ephram informs him that he’s actually reading up on Juilliard scholarships for Kyle. “Did you know that the Masons will actually pay a musician to go to school, but you can’t contact them directly?” I suddenly sense a plot brewing from some unholy union of Dan Brown and the National Treasure franchise. Andy observes that Ephram’s invested a lot of time in this. Ephram says he may as well, since neither Kyle nor his mother have the time or resources to do it, but he’s got “nothing else going on.” Andy notes that he has a life of his own, but Ephram thinks he and Andy already agreed that he has no life. Andy suggests that he could, if he stopped hanging out with a student who doesn’t even pay him. Ephram thinks this is a little unfair, coming from the doctor who’s been treating patients for free for three years. “At least give me one.” Andy agrees to give him twenty, if Ephram will just tell him why he’s so invested. Ephram doesn’t think he needs a reason, since Andy doesn’t have one. Andy says he does; he made a promise to Julia, so what’s Ephram’s excuse? Ephram wonders why he even needs to explain anything: “Social leper, piano prodigy, issues with his dad...does it sound familiar?” Andy realizes that Ephram relates to Kyle, but is worried about him and all the effort he’s putting in, from assembling the audition CD to researching scholarships. “Isn’t it painful giving him the life you should’ve had?” Ephram asserts that he chose not to go to Juilliard. Andy, however, thinks this means that he could be spending his time and energy working on his own thing instead of helping out Kyle, and compares this to setting up some other guy with Amy. Ephram thinks it’s nothing like that, because Juilliard isn’t currently proselytizing to its friends and family about women’s rights, and making uncomfortable requests of its father. But what he actually says is that “as messed up as I was last year, Kyle is worse. And he’s about to be more upset for something that will probably end up being my fault.” Andy wonders how it could be Ephram’s fault if Juilliard rejects Kyle, but Ephram says that he’s actually referring to Kyle’s father rejecting him. He further explains that he’s in town and he and Kyle want to see each other, so he encouraged the meeting. “But, who knows what a jerk his dad is? Maybe he just wants to see him so he can tell him that he’s getting remarried, or dying, or that he’s going to Iraq.” Andy still doesn’t see what any of this has to do with Ephram. Ephram reiterates the fact that he’s the one who told Kyle to meet him, and again, Andy can’t figure out why Kyle’s problems are Ephram’s. Ephram gets tired of the argument, and snips that he never asked for Andy’s opinion and tells him to “just go back to on-line dating” while he leaves to deal with a “tortured teenager.” Andy sighs heavily.

A restaurant, where Ephram and Kyle are. Kyle notes that his dad isn’t there yet, but Ephram says it’s early. Ephram asks if Kyle wants him to stay, and offers to sit over at the counter. Kyle tells him to leave if he wants, which he doesn’t, as he goes on that he doesn’t want to leave Kyle without a ride home. Kyle insists that he’s fine, so Ephram decides to stay. Kyle: “You’re weird, you know that?” Ephram, in fact, does know that, but doesn’t much care. He heads over to the counter, while Kyle takes a seat at an empty table and looks nervous. Ephram looks paternally concerned.

Campus of A&M. Amy catches up to Prof. Laurie, who’s walking somewhere again, and tells her she talked to Harold. Prof. Laurie is very excited, until Amy admits that he said he didn’t know how to do it [LIES!]. Prof. Laurie reminds Amy of what she had previously said, but Amy says she must have been mistaken. Prof. Laurie is cranky now, as she complains that she “lost two days” based on this, and starts to ask why Amy would have thought that, but then stops herself and dismisses the whole matter. Some girl bounds down the steps of the building Amy and Prof. Laurie have just reached, and asks the latter if she’ll look over her essay now. Prof. Laurie says she will, but turns to Amy and asks, a little coolly, if there’s anything else? Amy says there isn’t, and Prof. Laurie walks with her bouncy student into the building. Amy appears near tears.

Closing time at the restaurant. Kyle is still sitting at the same table, his father apparently having stood him up. Ephram joins his pitiful-looking protege at the table and says they can stay as long as Kyle wants. Kyle notes that it’s late, but Ephram only says it’s “been a little while.” Kyle grimaces a bit, and Ephram again says that whatever Kyle wants to do is fine with him. Kyle cuts him off, though, and says that his father’s not coming. Ephram admits that he doesn’t know what to tell him, but does offer an apology. Not really wanting to get any more of Ephram’s sympathy, Kyle stands and declares “Let’s just go.” Ephram is dejected.

Dinner at the Nina and Jake household. Fortuitously, Hannah is someplace that’s else this week, so there’s a chair for Andy. Jake calls the meal Nina’s prepared “fancy” and wonders what the big occasion is. Nina says she just wanted to try a new recipe. She sits down, and gives Andy a little smile and nod, indicating that it’s time for Regular!Normal!Everyday!Conversation. Andy plays along by asking Jake about work. Jake replies that it’s been slow since he’s cut back on his hours, and then suggests that he and “Hal” take on some of his clients. “It’s pretty simple stuff. A chimp could do it.” Though he’s joking, Nina immediately jumps in and defends Jake from...himself, I guess, protesting that his work is “very challenging.” Jake kind of likes the unexpected ego-boost, and Nina smiles back at him flirtatiously. Andy then asks how he is, otherwise. Jake confesses that he’s been “a little off,” prompting Nina to interject that it’s completely normal to feel that way, and that “studies say it’s all about the first thirty days.” Jake repeats “Studies?” so Nina explains that she found a few books that she thought might help, then stumbles over her words as she further adds “me, not you. You don’t need help. I mean, obviously you need help, but not from me or my books, unless...do–do you want my books?” This is going well, I think. Andy and Jake appear equally uncomfortable, and Jake responds with a mere “Uhhh...” In an effort to diminish the awkwardness, Andy asks Sam what’s new. Sam: “I got yelled at for eating boogers in class today.” Yet somehow, he's still embarrassing himself less than Nina is here. Andy replies with a great “Excellent.” Hee. Jake suddenly decides to play host, and gets up to pour Andy some wine. Nina tentatively informs Jake that they no longer have wine. Jake’s all “Seriously?” while Andy assures them that he’s good. But neither Jake nor Nina care, as Jake tells Nina that she didn’t have to throw out all the wine. Nina “thought it would be easier this way” and that maybe she’ll just give it up, too. Poor Andy adds that he thinks he might be “having a reaction to tannins, anyway.” Nina gets up and retrieves a large bottle from the floor, and declares that she thought they could have that, instead: “Who wants cider?!” Sam does! Andy declines. The now-disgruntled Jake says nothing.

Abbott kitchen. Harold is cooking something. Amy enters, and Harold explains that he’s working his way through Julia Child’s cookbook, and is up to coq au vin. Amy gets right to it, saying that she told Prof. Laurie he couldn’t help, “which was really humiliating, since I thought that you would.” Harold is sorry that he couldn’t be presented to Prof. Laurie “like a bright shiny apple,” but doesn’t think it’s his fault that Amy jumped to conclusions. Amy has grown tired of the LIES, and flat-out tells Harold that she knows he’s done it before. Harold turns away from the coq au vin to look at her. Amy continues that she saw his name on a file at the clinic, and that she knows he’s performed more than one abortion, “so...” Harold simply replies that she’s seen. Amy says that he lied to her, which Harold confirms, and for which he apologizes, though he also assures her that he’s never lied to her before. Amy wonders why he would start to now, then, “especially when it’s something we agree on?” Um. Harold, of course, says it more elegantly than I just did: “Sweetheart. We don’t agree on this. I don’t work at the clinic anymore, I haven’t in almost two years [since “Episode 20"?], and I don’t plan to return.” Amy wonders why not, though I’m pretty sure he just said why not in that first part of his answer. Harold begins with a “You have to understand...”, to which Amy responds with a kind of annoyed head tilt, and continues that he had made a promise to his father. “I stepped into a role that he created back when the options available to women were much more limited than they are today. So I did what I had to, in his name, all right? In his name only. But I cannot go to your university and invite others into a nightmare that I still haven’t made my own peace with.” Amy looks sad, but then: “So you don’t think it should be legal.” Yes, Amy, he’s totally saying that he wants to engage in a lengthy debate. Harold wisely replies that he “can’t get into that.” Amy suddenly makes it All About Her, saying that this must mean Harold disagrees with how she’s spending her time now. Harold, however, thinks it’s “wonderful” that she’s found a cause about which she’s passionate. Amy retorts that he thinks it’s the “wrong cause.” Harold is really pretty awesome here, as he tells Amy that her opinions are her own and he has no right to take them away from her. Amy, however, tearfully replies that he’d probably be happier with someone like Hannah as a daughter. Harold rightfully calls this suggestion “ridiculous,” but Amy’s off on one of her tangents now, and continues that the H’s could “agree on everything, and talk about all of the things that you have in common, like how you both think I’m a terrible person for what I believe in.” Harold insists that he doesn’t think she’s a terrible person, and is sure Hannah doesn’t think so, either. Amy grimly replies that “Hannah and I haven’t talked in two weeks, so you don’t know what she thinks.” Of course, I like how Amy’s neglecting to mention her own part in last episode’s little sidewalk blow-up, which was presumably the last time they talked. But Harold is very sorry to hear about their problems. “It must be quite difficult to be swimming against the tide of those closest to you.” Amy nods sadly, and says that she never thought she would have to. She leaves. Harold stares after her, somewhat shaken by the heavy conversation.

The next day. Amy strides into the doctors’ office. Harold is pleased to see her, and invites her into his office to continue their discussion, “now that our emotions have quieted a bit.” Amy insists, however, that her emotions will not be “‘quieting’ any time soon,” and that there’s nothing more to discuss. “We disagree. Let’s just leave it at that, okay?” Amy walks up to Louise’s desk and asks if “he” is in. Louise, a little startled, says that Andy is running a little late but should be in soon, and tells Amy to wait in his office. Harold asks if she’s going to ask Andy about the A&M position. Amy replies that she “just want[s] to swim in the right circles, that’s all.” Harold looks defeated.

Andy is again about to leave for work when he opens the door to find...Jake, this time, on his doorstep. They run through the exact same dialogue that Andy and Nina did, with Jake asking if he’s going to work and if he can be five minutes late. However, as Andy is not desperately in love with Jake, he is far less accommodating. Jake bargains down to three minutes, and adds, unnecessarily, that it’s about Nina. He says that he knows she talked to Andy about him; Andy assumes this means Nina told Jake, but Jake says it was “obvious.” Andy assures Jake that it was only because she was so concerned for him, but this isn’t that comforting to Jake, who thinks that he’s “freaking her out.” Andy insists that Nina only wants to help him. “Nina likes to think of the world as an ideal place, and if it’s not, she’ll just try and fix whatever’s broken, and right now, she thinks that you’re broken.” Jake realizes this, as she’s apparently been leaving him pamphlets. He says that it’s “sweet” that she wants to help, but that her “micromanaging” of his recovery process is decidedly unhelpful. He then suggests that Andy talk to her again. Andy finally blows up that he can’t do that. “I’ve got my own life to fix! I got a daughter who won’t talk to me, not even in Hebrew. My son has taken on the weight of the world for reasons that I still don’t understand. And I just blew a chance to spend the entire night with a contortionist!” Jake catches this last part and calls it a “bummer.” Andy: “Yeah!” Heh. Andy gets back on track, and declares that he can’t be the guy who saves Jake and Nina’s relationship. Jake finally seems to see the impropriety of getting Andy involved in their issues, and apologizes. Andy just shakes his head and says he has to go examine heads, “particularly my own.” Jake wishes him a “good day,” while Andy trudges off to his car.

Cute Rabbi enters Andy’s office. Andy, who’s examining his CAT scan, greets him as “Josh,” though I’ve grown rather accustomed to “Cute Rabbi.” But, fine, whatever. So, Andy directs him to sit down, though Josh, worried, says he’d rather stand. Andy assures him there’s no bad news, and again urges him to sit, which he does. Andy asks if he recalls his CAT scan [...I would hope the forgetfulness isn’t that severe]; Josh certainly does, particularly the electrodes and the copious note-taking. Andy gets all doctorly, and says that was the “quantitative EEG,” also called “brain mapping,” which measures alkaloid activity. Josh’s was high, which is an indication of a particular condition. Josh assumes this condition is death. Andy laughs and asks who Josh’s doctor was in New York. Josh says he didn’t have one, nor did he have a pediatrician, as his family is “wonky” about doctors. Andy asks what happened when he got sick. Josh explains his mother’s philosophy: “Doctors look for problems that don’t really exist, because that’s their job. Ergo, if I never went to a doctor, nothing would ever be wrong with me.” Andy calls this theory “interesting,” and Josh admits that it’s “totally psychotic,” which was why he was happy to get health insurance through his rabbinical school and to see Andy, his first doctor ever. Andy wishes he had known this before, since it means that Josh’s problem is probably a lot simpler than what he had been looking for. Josh now assumes that Andy’s going to tell him he’s “slow,” which his mother always thought anyway. “She always said I’m a stain on the Stein family.” Wow, Cute Rabbi’s mom sounds like a barrel of laughs. Andy informs him that he’s not slow, but, rather, has adult ADD. Josh is very surprised. Andy continues that it explains all of his issues, such as inability to focus. Josh is now very excited, and declares that Andy just gave him “twenty-nine years’ worth of comebacks.” Andy adds that he will need to take medication and engage in some therapeutic exercises. This does nothing to diminish Josh’s merriment, though. “You spend a lifetime worrying that you’re dying and you just don’t know it, and then you find out that not only are you not dying, but your whole miserable existence didn’t have to be so miserable, if only you weren’t so afraid to peel back the onion? And maybe get a check-up every once in awhile!” He concludes that “fear makes people do very silly things,” which feels like it should be this major, thematic statement for the episode, except that I can’t seem to connect it to any of the other storylines except maybe Nina's. Andy tells Josh that he’ll be a terrific rabbi. Josh hopes so.

Ephram barges into Kyle’s room, because apparently Kyle’s mom told him to, and makes a quip about the “prison vibe” of the room. He pulls up a chair next to Kyle’s bed, and announces that he’s found out about an “artistically frustrated rich guy living in Colorado who’s just desperate to pay some kid’s tuition to Juilliard.” Kyle thinks it doesn’t matter, because he probably won’t get in anyway. Ephram doubts that Kyle really believes this, given all his posturing, and wonders why he’d change his mind now. Kyle doesn’t answer, but Ephram doesn’t really need him to. He urges Kyle not to let the thing with his father “mess with [his] head,” and apologizes for “pushing” Kyle into the meeting. Kyle insists that Ephram didn’t push him into anything, because he wanted to see his dad again. He says that Ephram must think he’s stupid. Ephram does not, but Kyle says that he is stupid. “I just keep forgiving him. He says he’s going to call, he doesn’t. He says he’ll meet me for lunch and he doesn’t even show. The guy bought me some piece of crap keyboard eight years ago, and I still think he’s the greatest dad ever.” Ephram says this doesn’t make Kyle stupid, but human. “He’s your father. You’re programmed to love him.” Kyle retorts that he hates his father, actually, and wonders why he would have left and never wanted to see Kyle again. Ephram doesn’t know why, but urges Kyle not to give up on his dreams just because he’s angry. He then admits that he did exactly that. “For the longest time, I blamed my dad for messing up my shot. But at the end of the day...I did it all to myself.” Kyle stares at Ephram, presumably a bit startled by this revelation. Ephram continues: “You’re better than that. You’re better than me.” Kyle is both humbled and snotty, somehow, as he adds “Only at piano.” Ephram gives him the scholarship application and orders him to fill it out. He then tells Kyle that he’ll “be all right,” and gives him a hug. Kyle gets a really odd look on his face, which I’m just going to ignore, because knowing how Ephram sees Kyle, I’d rather not think too much about how Kyle might see Ephram. This will make more sense after the next recap. Ephram leaves, with Kyle still looking unsettled. Ephram pauses outside Kyle’s door for a moment, also looking unsettled, though the reason for this will become clear a few scenes from now.

Nina’s sitting on her couch, reading a book called The Heart of Addiction. Naturally. Jake comes in, carrying a grocery bag, and Nina notes that she keeps forgetting he’s keeping earlier hours these days. Jake comments on her “light reading” and heads into the kitchen. Nina follows, saying she and Sam will order Chinese for dinner since he has a meeting that night. Jake tells her she doesn’t have to do that, and then, sounding serious, says they need to talk about something. They sit at the table, and Nina prompts him with an “Okay...” Jake announces that he will no longer be attending the meetings. Nina thinks that sounds bad, but Jake assures her that he’s not off the wagon or depressed or anything. Rather, he’s realized that NA didn’t work in the past, and isn’t working now. “Some people heal themselves through prayer and being anonymous. I need to be a little more active than that.” Jake wonders if that makes any sense, but Nina can’t confirm if it does or not, as she hasn’t had a chance to study all the non-NA material yet. Jake smiles, and says that basically, he wants to actually recover this time, but needs to do it his own way. Nina’s okay with this, but wonders which way that would be. Jake doesn’t know, but will figure it out. He adds that one thing he doesn’t need is for Nina to convert their home into “Recovery Central.” Nina replies that she’s the one who asked him to come home, but he says that she didn’t know what she was getting into. “And if it’s too much, I’d understand.” Nina takes a moment, and finally says that it’s not that it’s too much. “I guess I just don’t know how to help you without taking it on myself.” Jake declares that he doesn’t need her to take it on or to read self-help books, although, the issue here really isn’t that Nina thinks she needs to take it on, but that she can’t help but do so. But anyway, Jake concludes that he just needs her to be herself. Nina wonders how she can do this. Jake gets up and reaches for a wineglass, then takes a bottle of wine from the grocery bag. He sets both in front of her, and tells her to “live a little.”

Andy, at home, walks down the hall and, upon hearing Delia typing something, stops at her door. She glances up, and he apologizes for bothering her. Delia, however, just asks if she can read him her speech. She says it’s rough, but she still has three months before she has to deliver it. Andy says he’ll “keep that in mind,” and sits in a nearby chair. Delia clears her throat and begins reading. “In the week of Kedoshim, God sets forth laws that teach us how to be honest and fair. One of the laws tells us not to turn to ghosts. That’s the law I want to talk about today.” Andy deems this a “very clear” intro. Delia smiles (!) and continues. “When we first moved to this town, my dad and I were both turning to one ghost a lot: my mom. For a long time, we were counting on her to tell us what to do. My dad even tried to talk to her. But she couldn’t answer anymore, so we finally had to turn away. And that’s when we started over.” Delia goes on that while she didn’t know Andy well when she was little, now “he does everything for me,” like throwing birthday parties, cooking, and locating a Colorado-based rabbi. “And I know things about him now, too. I know that sometimes he’s sad, and sometimes he’s lonely. Even though we fight a lot, it’s better than when we turn to the ghost, because now, we have each other.” Andy is, of course, tearing up now, and asks how Delia came up with it. Delia explains that she had trouble thinking back to when she was little, and found it easier to write about her life in Everwood instead. Andy, remembering his conversation with Josh, observes that “sometimes you miss the obvious stuff.” Delia quips, “Obviously,” and Andy laughs a little and pulls her in for a big hug.

Amy’s strolling along the A&M campus again. She spots Prof. Laurie and rushes over to her side, and asks if Andy got in touch with her. Prof. Laurie confirms that he did, and thanks Amy for “sending him our way.” Amy asks if he’s agreed to do it; Prof. Laurie doesn’t know yet, as he has yet to meet with the board, but adds that they have a few candidates, so something will work out. Amy is glad, as she was afraid that she had screwed everything up. Prof. Laurie says she was just “enthusiastic,” but Amy goes on that she was so excited about being involved that she stopped thinking. They stop walking for a moment, and Prof. Laurie remarks that Amy was “raised well,” and that her father must be proud of her. Amy is quiet, prompting Prof. Laurie to add “except for the bleeding heart liberal stuff, right?” Amy laughs a “Right,” and they resume their walk. Prof. Laurie suddenly asks why Amy never told her “that Dr. Brown was so sexy?” Boundaries! Boundaries, Prof. Laurie! Dude. Amy, kind of squicked out, says she guesses that she never gave it much thought. “Now I feel weird.” Hee. And incidentally, I’m still not sure how I feel about Andy’s involvement here, given his personal issues in “Episode 20.” But, at least we were never subjected to an Andy/Prof. Laurie romance, so there’s that.

It’s Dr. Sexy himself, tending to a fire in the fireplace. Ephram walks in, and Andy observes that he wasn’t expecting him that night, and offers to leave so he can practice. Ephram, however, is there because he didn’t want to go back to his place. Andy says he’d ask why not, but has noticed that Ephram isn’t too fond of that question these days. My guess on this one would be that it’s because Bright doesn’t appear in this episode, and Ephram doesn’t want to be reminded of his absence. I totally feel ya on that, dude. Ephram starts pacing in front of the fire and launches right into the Kyle subject again, wondering why he got himself involved and made everything into “a bigger nightmare than even I could’ve imagined.” He adds, for Andy’s benefit, that Kyle’s dad never even showed up. Andy is very sorry, but Ephram thinks he’s the one who should be sorry, since he made things worse for Kyle. Andy thinks Kyle’s dad is the one who did that, but Ephram blames himself for pushing Kyle into the meeting. Without it, “he never would’ve know what a jerk his father was. Now it’s like he has to deal with it.” Andy says that it’s good that if he had to deal with it, at least Ephram was there to help. Ephram finally sits, wondering again what kind of a person would abandon his son right before the kid enters the most confusing time in his life. Andy doesn’t know. And now we finally get to what’s really going on here, as Ephram quietly says, “That’s what he’s going to think.” Andy glances over at Ephram, curious. Ephram adds that he means “the baby. My baby is going to think that I abandoned him.” Andy asks if that’s really what the whole Kyle thing has been about. Ephram’s not sure. “I saw this kid, looked like he needed somebody, I thought somehow that should maybe be my responsibility. Maybe I’d ease my guilt a little bit along the way.” Andy reminds Ephram that he never abandoned anyone and has nothing to feel guilty about, particularly as he didn’t even know about the baby. Ephram does not take the opportunity to point out that Andy’s at least half the reason for this, but only says that while they both know that, his son won’t. “All he’ll think is that I didn’t want him, that I didn’t love him. Then one day he’ll come looking for me.” Andy admits that he might. Ephram says that he thinks about it all the time and that he’ll always be waiting for a knock on the door. “And when it comes? I have no idea what I’ll say.” Andy says he’ll “tell the truth. From the heart.” Well, if he’s really going to be truthful, I hope Andy doesn’t mind looking kind of horrible to his grandchild. Ephram thinks it’s weird to miss something you never had, and realizes that he knows how Kyle must have felt about his father. “It’s like there’s this hole in my life, and I can’t... Sometimes I have to make stuff up just to get through the bad times.” Andy, who knows from loss, says it’s like that for awhile, “but then the hole fills up with other things. But it takes some time. And every once in awhile, you’ll remember what caused it, but it won’t hurt the same. If anything, it’ll just remind you of how far you’ve come.” Ephram wonders how he’ll know when that happens. Andy doesn’t know. “But I’ll be there for you ‘til it does.” *sniff*

Next time: Ephram learns something new, but not all that surprising, about his surrogate son; Hannah tries to solve relationship issues with food poisoning; and Andy's teenage patient requests some major preventative surgery.