Pro Choice

Bright and Hannah are making out on her bed. There’s some very quiet, serious talk of her taking “them” off, because “they’re getting in the way.” Oh, show, we’ve already established that you’re better than this. Anyway, they’re talking about her glasses, which Bright removes for her, just before attempting to remove her bra. Disconcerted by the sudden presence of a hand under her shirt, Hannah falls off the bed, heh. She pops up, declaring that she’s “fine” but didn’t think it seemed like the “time” for “that.” Bright laughs awkwardly and agrees, but then wonders: “I know you don’t want to have sex because of the Bible, but I was thinking, like, I’m not sure there’s anything in there that says you can’t take your girlfriend’s bra off.” Hannah is so flummoxed by this that she actually acknowledges that her concerns aren’t all rooted in religion, and stutters out that it’s about timing, and “it’s just not bra-removal time.” Bright accepts this, but then asks when that time might be. Hannah replies that it’s certainly not when Nina’s downstairs making dinner. Bright rolls his eyes. Seriously, Bright, I love you even in the last several episodes of this season, which is saying something, believe me, but that wasn’t cool. Hannah asks if he’s mad; he denies this, but does observe that Hannah seems to make a lot of excuses to avoid “doing stuff.” Hannah declares this to be untrue, while Bright retorts “except that, it kinda is.” The sniping is interrupted when Nina knocks on the door, which prompts the two to quickly stand up and attempt to look platonic. Nina comes in to announce that Hannah has a visitor: Jayne Brook! Well, her mom, but it’s more fun to type “Jayne Brook.” After a very surprised Hannah identifies her as “Mom,” Bright looks up and offers one of his very best goofy smiles and waves.

Hannah, Bright, and Jayne Brook head down the stairs. Bright tells Jayne that it was nice to meet her, and adds, just before leaving, that he and Hannah never, ever hang out in her room together, and that this was the first time that ever happened. Hee! Jayne wears a wry smile while Hannah basically shoves her boyfriend out the door. After this is accomplished, Hannah turns back to her mom, clearly worried, and asks what happened. Jayne, still...kind of smiling, a little, which is weird, simply replies that Nina is making tea. She leads Hannah over to the couch, though Hannah remains standing. Hannah assumes that the news is something along the lines of her father having an infection. Jayne tells her to sit next to her, calling her “Hannah-Bear” in the process, which is clearly not a good sign. Nina enters with the tea. Jayne, looking tearier now, gives her daughter the news: her father is “gone.” Hannah, a little in shock, asks for clarification, which Jayne provides when she responds that he’s dead. Nina, off to the side, cringes. Hannah is in disbelief, pointing out the fact that her mother didn’t contact her about it, and he seemed okay when Hannah saw him a few months before. Nina offers her help with funeral arrangements, but no need; Jayne had Hannah’s dad cremated, per his request. She assures Hannah that she doesn’t need to worry about anything, because it’s all been taken care of! Hannah is visibly upset and can’t believe this last part. Jayne asks what Hannah means. What Hannah means is, “How could you not tell me this was happening? You just–you just show up here, after everything, and I...I don’t understand you.” Hannah marches off to her room, while Jayne calls after her, asking for a chance to explain. Wow. Hannah’s mom kind of sucks. And also, when the episode originally aired, I assumed we were going to find out that she had euthanized Hannah’s dad, hence the secrecy and the title “Pro Choice.” I’m not sure I would have been thrilled with an episode on the subject, but then, this show was always able to do impressive things when dealing with moral/social/medical/ethical issues. But no, Jayne’s just like that, and the title really is kind of randomly political.

Brown kitchen. Nina’s there, helping clean up after dinner with Andy and Ephram. Delia’s apparently lying unconscious in a ditch or something. Though Andy assures Nina that she doesn’t have to help with chores, she explains that she has to do something with the nervous energy that’s resulted from the sudden news of Hannah’s dad’s death [why doesn’t this man have a name? This is getting awkward.], even though she knew it was coming. Andy thinks that it’s always impossible to prepare for this kind of news, but that Nina’s doing everything right. Ephram, who is stealing canned goods from the cabinet, asks how Hannah is. This should, in my admittedly biased opinion, eventually lead to a short scene in which they talk a little about losing a parent, especially when neither had the chance to say goodbye to that parent. But no, this is really the extent to which we’ll see Ephram having any kind of friendly feelings towards Hannah. Anyway, Nina replies that Hannah seems to still be in shock, which is enough for Ephram, who puts two cans of something in a grocery bag. Andy orders him to put one back. Hee. I’m beginning to see how Ephram manages to keep his part of the apartment’s grocery bill so low. Andy turns his attention back to Nina, who’s getting ready to leave. “If there’s anything you need...a homecooked meal, a place for Sam to destroy, I’m on call, 24/7.” Nina calls Sam in from the living room, and the two leave. Andy watches them, wistful. Ephram asks what Andy is doing, given that he’s been “staring at Nina’s shadow for like ten minutes.” Andy explains that he is simply worried about her, then throws things back to Ephram, asking what’s going on with Amy. Ephram informs Andy that he was right about her dating someone else, but Ephram is sure it’s just some “random jock loser” and that the whole thing is “nothing.” Andy agrees. Ephram continues that Amy’s probably just trying to “get back in the game,” and that there’s no way she’s in love with the guy already. Andy asks if Ephram plans to tell Amy about his feelings, which Ephram does not, as he sees no need to rush things and intends to “work the friend angle” for a while. He suddenly asks the whereabouts of the “salsa from Zabar’s.” Andy cryptically replies that it’s in a “safe place,” which Ephram takes to mean that Andy hid it. Andy: “Damn right.”

Abbott house; more specifically, Amy’s room. Hannah, sitting on Amy's bed, still can’t understand why Jayne didn’t tell her about what was happening. Amy, sitting with her, thinks that she must have had her reasons. Bright, meanwhile, is in the background, removing piles of clothes from a chair. Amy, annoyed, asks what he’s doing. He explains that he’s looking for a place to sit, then exposits that “Mom and Dad leave for a week, you turn into me.” Hee, but judging from the glare she levels at him, what Amy really wants to know is why he isn’t comforting his girlfriend. Hannah continues that Huntington’s is a slow-moving disease, and she and her mom talked every week. Amy asks if Hannah is mad because Jayne didn’t tell her that her father was dying, or because she didn’t tell her until after it happened. Isn’t that essentially the same thing? Hannah covers all her bases, saying that she’s angry about both issues. “My mother, she always does this. She just makes these decisions about things, and she never asks me how I feel about any of them. Like, when she decided to go on the cruise. I mean, she just–she decided. Maybe I would have wanted to spend more time with Dad over the summer. Obviously, I should have.” While she gets closer to tears, Amy glances at Bright, who’s sitting by, looking dopey. He finally catches on, and declares that Harold and Rose “do that stuff too.” Hannah looks over at him, while he goes on about how they “didn’t even tell us they were going to Africa, or anything. Didn’t even, like, tell us in advance.” *Sigh* Amy doubts that this is “remotely the same thing.” Bright concedes that it is not. Amy asks what if Hannah had known in advance; is there anything she could have done? Hannah, choked up, replies that she could have said goodbye. Amy and Hannah hug, and Amy gives Bright another insistent look. Bright seems to be at a total loss.

Andy’s office. Andy gently informs his patient, Brian, that he wishes he could say things were improving, but... Brian’s daughter, played by Gina Ravera, whom I know only as Detective Daniels from The Closer, finishes Andy’s thought by asking if he’s worse. She asks what they can do, given that he’s been waiting for a kidney transplant for a year. Brian admonishes her to let Andy talk. Unfortunately, all Andy has to say is that they’re running out of time, as Brian’s been on dialysis for nine years and the idea of ten makes Andy “uncomfortable.” Brian jokes about his own comparative discomfort, at which Andy laughs, before continuing that he’ll see what he can do about moving Brian up on the transplant list. Detective “Debbie Downer” Daniels questions if this would make any difference, since Brian could still just die at any time. Wow, I’d sure want her support in the doctor’s office! But Brian says that they’ve been expecting that, anyway, especially since he’s been dealing with nephritis his whole life. “Anyway, parents die. It’s been that way from time immemorial.” Hey...you don’t think there’s a theme here, do you? Huh. Det. Daniels is having none of this, and declares that she’ll give Brian one of her kidneys. Brian protests, but Det. Daniels outshouts him and asks Andy if he can run the test to see if she’s a match. Brian tells Andy that he and his daughter have “already discussed this,” but Det. Daniels retorts that he’s discussed it, and that things are different now, more serious. Brian replies that the situation has always been serious, and that he refuses to let them cut his daughter open. “Risk your life to save mine? Not happening, little girl.” Which is sweet, if a little patronizing, but we’ll soon learn there’s more to it than simple fatherly concern. Andy assures Brian that the procedure is safe, and that “Stacy” could live a long and healthy life with just one kidney. Det. Daniels tries again with Brian, but he remains adamant about the issue. Then he announces: “It’s my body. My choice.” And, I’m sorry, but given the relatively heavy-handed nature of this episode, doesn’t that just sound like it would go right along with a Hannah’s dad/euthanasia storyline? Just sayin’. Andy has no response.

Many hours later. Ephram is coming down from his crawl space/"loft" when he hears Amy’s voice. And there she is, in the doorway, making out with and saying goodbye to Reid. Amy then leaves. Ephram is horrified. Reid is smirky. Ephram hides behind the stairs, looking for all the world like he’s about to cry.

Next morning. A shirtless Reid is noisily grinding coffee beans, while Bright eats cereal out of his beloved glass measuring cup, because apparently they don’t own bowls. Ephram walks in and crankily asks if there isn’t a law against using a coffee grinder before noon. Reid cheerily apologizes, but explains that morning coffee is the key to his whole day. He adds that the kona he’s using is so “serious” that it costs about $20 a bean. Ephram: “Is that why you can’t afford a shirt?” BWAH! Ephram's pretty awful to Reid throughout the rest of this episode, but that gloriously pithy put-down is almost enough to make it all worth it. Yet neither Bright nor Reid seems to appreciate it; the two look at each other, a bit jarred by Ephram’s sudden hatred for the latter, while Ephram just looks at Reid expectantly. Which is hilarious, too, as though he’s expecting Reid to give him an actual answer. After a moment, Reid merely finishes his thought, saying that the kona is worth the high price. He pours Ephram a cup, but Ephram passes, claiming that he doesn’t "do" coffee. Poor Reid says “Suit yourself,” and marches off to his bedroom, probably now near tears himself. Bright suddenly starts talking about the consistency of the marshmallows in his cereal. I think I’m going to marry this scene. Ephram cuts him off, insisting that he needs to talk to him about something. Bright continues his diatribe against false marshmallow advertising, but Ephram clarifies that what he needs to talk about is the apartment, or more specifically, his crawl space. Bright takes this to mean that Ephram’s finally going to use his “hanging bead” idea, and adds that “It’ll look dope, dude. It’ll be like a saloon.” Ephram ignores this and says that the crawl space is too small, and that with the money from his piano lessons, he can afford to pay more rent, so that the rent on the apartment would no longer have to be split three ways. Bright, miraculously, catches on and quietly asks if Ephram actually wants to kick out Reid. Ephram rather meanly replies that they “don’t need him anymore.” Bright thinks this would be cold, particularly given that Reid is already dealing with so much med school stress. Ephram fakely agrees and says "never mind." Bright asks if it’s about the “toothpaste thing," because he can tell him to stop buying the vanilla kind. Ephram insists that it’s not that, and that Bright should just forget he said anything. Stunningly, Bright then observes that Ephram must have found out about Reid and Amy. Bright’s kind of an idiot savant in this episode. Ephram plays it cool, claiming to have known about them for a while. Bright points out that the relationship just started. Seriously, where was this Bright in the scene with Hannah and Amy? He is crazy perceptive here, at least comparatively speaking. Ephram lies that Amy told him about it when they got together, and that he just thought it would be “cool” if it were only he and Bright living together. Bright’s completely disregarding everything Ephram says at this point, and continues that he intended to tell Ephram if things between Amy and Reid became serious. Ephram says it’s not about that, he doesn’t care, he has to get ready for class. Bright shakes his head a little and probably rejoices over getting to be the emotionally mature one, at least for one scene.

Det. Daniels is hanging out in an examination room, somewhere. Andy, dressed in street clothes so we know he’s not involved in any of this, comes in and peppily announces that the CT scan is done. Det. Daniels gets all fancy and says that now they just need the “intravenous [something] to make sure my kidneys work.” Andy jokingly asks if doctors are even necessary with the existence of the internet. Given my own unsuccessful attempts to figure out what that word after "intravenous" was, I would say...yes. Det. Daniels apologizes for her craziness, but explains that the only way she can convince her father to take her kidney is to have all her arguments ready. Andy thinks she’d be better off going to law school for that. “Your dad’s kind of scary. He’s not going to go down without a fight.” Det. Daniels doesn’t understand why her father won’t let her give something up for him, given that he gave up “everything” for her. Andy seems to suddenly begin relating to Brian, and asks how old Det. Daniels was when her mother died. She replies that her mother didn’t die; she left when Det. Daniels was born. “I’ve thought about trying to find her, but then I realized...there was no point.” She catches on to Andy’s personal interest, and notes that he’s a single father. When he confirms, she tells him not to feel guilty, because she bets he’s doing “just fine.” Apparently she hasn’t seen Season 3. The doctor who actually performed the CT scan comes in with the results. He says that he is “a little surprised.” Andy, upon examining the results, looks shocked. Frankly, if I were Det. Daniels, I’d be freaking out just a tad at this point. Andy quickly explains the source of their shock, however: “You only have one kidney.” Det. Daniels, now shocked herself, hops off the examination table to get a closer look. Andy suggests that she was probably born that way. Det. Daniels thinks someone, perhaps herself, should have known about this before. Andy non-sequiturs that she can function perfectly well with only one. Det. Daniels realizes that this means she can’t help her father. Everyone, except maybe for random doctor dude, is very sad.

Abbott Kitchen of Hazardous Waste. Amy is getting something from the refrigerator when Bright enters, stunned by the disaster. “Man. You totally broke the house.” Hee. Amy declares that she plans to clean the next day, before Harold and Rose return. Bright says that it’s “too bad Mom and Dad are coming home today.” Amy is freaked. Bright is amused, because Amy is gullible. Amy throws a nearby Chinese take-out box at him, which I only mention because he starts eating from it. I’m not sure how he hasn’t given himself salmonella by this point. Bright sarcastically thanks Amy for telling Ephram about her and Reid. “Created all kinds of drama over the place, totally ruining my cereal time.” Amy insists that she never told Ephram, but Bright is a little doubtful, given that Ephram knows. Amy wonders how, then has an Amy-attack. “What did he say? Is he okay? Is he upset? Should I call him?” Bright imperiously tells Amy to get over herself. “It’s not like you’re his world. He’s fine.” Amy asks if Ephram is so fine, why is Bright there, giving her grief, instead of spending time with Hannah, whom, Amy points out, is a “mess.” Bright says he knows that, but that Amy is “better at, like, talking through stuff.” Amy replies that Hannah doesn’t need him to talk, just to listen. This worries Bright, who asks if Hannah said something to her. Amy: “No. I saw you being totally useless all by myself.” Heh. Amy declares that he’s Hannah’s boyfriend and needs to act like it. Bright glumly replies that he’s “starting to think [he’s] a pretty crappy boyfriend.” Amy needles him about the “starting to think” point, but Bright ignores this. Instead, he brings up the incidents of the other day, when he tried to get to second base with Hannah. Amy is appropriately repulsed to hear these details, and, hee! I paused this scene just as Amy’s reacting to the TMI, and Emily Vancamp has the best surprised/squicked-out expression. Nice work there. Anyway, Bright gets to his actual point, which is that this occurred just before she got the news about her father. Amy has two pieces of advice: “First, don’t use ‘bases.’ You’re not six, and a woman’s body is not a sports field.” Bright interrupts to sigh that he’s “so over” Amy’s women’s studies class. Which kind of begs the question of when he was under it, I suppose. Amy continues that Hannah probably doesn’t care anymore, since the subsequent events have likely thrown everything into perspective. Amy asks if he even remembers anything that happened the day they found out Rose had been diagnosed with cancer. Bright, a little slower on the uptake here than he was in the apartment scene, asks if Amy’s saying that Hannah doesn’t care about the Great Bra Incident anymore. Amy doubts that she even remembers it. “But she will remember that you weren’t there for her when she really needed you.” Bright looks thoughtful, which I think is the first time I've ever typed that.

Nina’s office at Sam’s. She’s working at her desk when Jake calls. She tells him how glad she is that he called, since she’s bogged down in paperwork and needs him to take care of dinner. Jake, actually, has called to inform Nina that he won’t be around for dinner [I don’t think that’s 24 hours notice...], which Nina indicates has become pretty typical. He goes on about how crazy his work has been, but Nina doesn’t really care. “My best friend just lost her husband, Hannah is freaking out, and, based on Sam’s new favorite word, I’m pretty sure he’s been sneaking episodes of Deadwood.” Hee! Jake: “Well, if he can understand what they’re talking about on that show, maybe he’s smart enough to raise himself.” But Nina is not in the mood for witty banter, and reminds Jake that he promised to take on less at work. He insists that he can’t just cancel appointments, but Nina thinks he can; “it’s just a matter of what’s important to you.” She ends the call and angrily drops her phone on the desk. After a few seconds, she picks up the phone to make another call, when she’s startled by the sudden appearance of Jake at her door. Jake tries to say something, between panting. Nina: “Oh my God you’re fast.” Jake attributes this to “Track team pant huff pant pant High school huff huff Which was a long time ago.” He apologizes for working so much. Nina understands, but just misses him, and admits that she’s been stressed out. Jake apologizes again and wants to be there for her, but just needs her to give him a few more weeks. Nina notes that he said the same thing a few weeks before, but says it’s fine, and she’ll figure out dinner. Jake gallops back off to his office, but not before telling Nina he loves her. Nina: “.....” Well, that’s a good sign.

Unsurprisingly, Nina and the Dysfunctionals share a dinner of pizza. Nina apologizes for not serving something homemade. Jayne stiffly assures her that it’s great, while Sam chirps that he loves pizza and launches into a monologue about his favorite kinds. Hannah, who is dressed unfortunately again after having a really cute outfit in the last episode, thanks Nina but says that she’s not hungry, and gets up from the table. Jayne orders Hannah to sit down, then modifies it with a “please.” Hannah glares at her mother for a moment, but complies. Jayne asks Hannah if she “think[s] this is easy for me.” Hannah asks how she could possibly know what her mother’s going through, as she never tells her anything. Jayne stares at her for a moment, because this is probably the most backtalk she’s ever heard out of her, before apologizing. She admits that she made a mistake, but was only trying to protect Hannah. Hannah asks from what, “saying goodbye to my own father?” Jayne replies that she wanted to protect her from “going through the nightmare of those last few days.” As she asks Hannah if she really wants to hear all the details, Nina hastily leads Sam out of the room. Hannah exclaims that she shouldn’t have to hear about them, but should have been there herself. Jayne asks why she would want to have those memories, and that she didn’t think Hannah should have to see her father in such terrible condition. “If the last year-and-a-half was too much for you...” Hannah denies ever having said that it was too much for her. Jayne, however, notes that Hannah left and came to Everwood. Hannah indignantly replies that Jayne was the one who sent her away, but Jayne insists that she only did it for her. “I never forced you to leave, Hannah. I offered you the option.” Hannah is still aghast, but seems to be recognizing the validity of Jayne’s statement. Jayne continues that she was glad Hannah did choose to leave, and wonders why Hannah would think she was trying to push her away. Hannah isn’t sure, meekly suggesting that her mother just didn’t want her there. Jayne: “I was scared out of my mind the day you left. Your brother was already gone, and suddenly it was just me and your father. There were days I didn’t speak to a single person. I’d order delivery just so I could talk to the guy who came to the door. Of course I wanted you there.” She concludes that she never wanted to go through it alone, and end up so alone, and marches off, in tears.

Andy and Harold’s waiting room. Andy greets Brian and Det. Daniels and observes that they’re late, and asks if they got his message. Brian says yes, “all six of them. Louise called me so many damn times, I started to think she was sweet on me.” Louise overshares that she got fired for that when she was a masseuse. Andy cuts her off before the story can become any more disturbing. He leads Brian and Det. Daniels into his office, saying that he has news: Brian’s now at the top of the donor list; they’ve found a match and can schedule the surgery immediately. Brian is overwhelmed and shares a nice moment with his daughter, who decides to take the opportunity to make a confession. She begins by saying that she didn’t want him to be mad, which prompts him to ask what he would be mad about; with some support from Andy, she tells Brian about their discovery of her only having one kidney. Brian, suddenly angry, asks why she had to do that. Det. Daniels is surprised to realize that he knew about her lack of a kidney, and asks why he never told her. He simply replies that he “can’t believe it,” which prompts Det. Daniels to wonder what he’s not telling her, and Andy to look distinctly uncomfortable. Brian comes out with it: Det. Daniels had a twin sister, who was born without kidneys. After praying and discussing the issue with doctors, he and his wife decided to have one of Det. Daniels’ kidneys transplanted into her sister, whom they named Michelle; she lived, but for only three days. Det. Daniels takes all this news about as well as one might expect, exclaiming that it’s “crazy” and demanding to know why he never told her. Brian didn’t know what good it would have done. Det. Daniels accuses him of taking her “truth” from her. Brian admits that he was scared, and feared that she might blame herself for Michelle’s death. He adds that her mother couldn’t handle any of it, and left as a result; Det. Daniels was all he had left. Det. Daniels doesn’t care, and stomps out, but not before stopping to call out Brian for betraying her trust. Andy continues to sit silently, realizing for the first time what it’s like to be an observer of his family life.

Apartment kitchen. Ephram is having cereal out of the large glass measuring cup, of which I guess they have several. Maybe that’s what they bought a set of instead of bowls. Reid enters; finding his coffee pot in the sink, he asks what happened to his coffee, as he just made a fresh pot. Ephram lies that he thought it was old and it smelled like it was burning, so he threw it out. Reid takes this pretty well, and calls it an “honest mistake.” Ephram: “Hey, let me ask you a question. I mean, no offense, but how does somebody go from an Ivy undergrad to Colorado A&M for med school? I mean, seems like kind of a huge step downward.” Now Ephram kind of sucks. Reid pretty much says it all: “You know, when you and I first met, I didn’t exactly get a warm and fuzzy, but lately, you’ve taken it up a notch. No offense, but you’re kind of being an ass.” Ephram just stares blankly, eating his cereal, which is only annoying me more because I hate watching people chew, so really, I’m all for a Reid-delivered smackdown right now. Reid continues that he already has a lot to deal with in med school, and doesn’t want his home environment to be uncomfortable, mentioning that home should be a “sanctuary.” Ephram asks if he’s going to eventually get to the point. Shut up, Ephram. Reid knows what’s actually going on, and says that he likes Amy, but has only been on three dates with her. He notes that Ephram and Amy “obviously” have a history, and says that he’s been in Ephram’s position before. Ephram gets all hormonal and snaps that Reid has no idea where Ephram’s been, and then asks what makes him think this is about Amy in the first place. Reid replies that he doesn’t have time to deal with all this. “In truth, I’m a big believer in the guy code, so if you want me to back off, I mean, if you really want me to stop dating Amy, I will.” Ephram thinks for a second, then says okay. “Stop dating Amy.” Reid is plainly not happy, but agrees. Before storming off, he suggests that Ephram tell Amy how he feels, because otherwise this whole thing is pointless. Ephram continues to chew, but more thoughtfully now.

Hannah lies on her bed, apparently lost in thought. Bright knocks and lets himself into her room, but says he can come back later if she’s “busy...with the ceiling.” Hannah says that she “didn’t want to be there;” Bright, naturally, asks where, and she says “home,” explaining that she had convinced herself that her mother sent her to Everwood, when really, she couldn’t handle her father’s illness. “‘Cause it was easier for me.” Bright sits down on the bed, and says that might be the case, or maybe she left because that was what was supposed to happen. “It’s like the hole-puncher.” Hannah: “Okay, normally I speak ‘Bright’ fluently, but you’re gonna have to elaborate.” Hee. Bright explains that it comes from the Intro to Philosophy course he’s taking; his professor once told a story about the hole-puncher, saying that there might be some who claim that it was invented and then people figured out what to do with it, while others might say that it was invented in order to make it easier to punch holes. Hannah, of course, gets the metaphor right away, and sits up. “If there were no God, man would surely have created one.” Bright is slightly baffled, but Hannah says it’s the same idea, minus the hole puncher; either God exists and preceded everything else, or humanity was so freaked out by everything else that it created the concept of something greater than itself. Bright thinks that the hole puncher story is easier. Hannah asks what he believes. Bright believes that “horrible things happen, but good stuff does come out of it. Just because you might not see the reasons why doesn’t mean that they’re not there.” Hannah asks if this means that he believes in God. He tells her not to get too excited – “I’m not going to Bible camp with you, don’t even ask,” heh – but yes, he thinks “God makes stuff happen.” Hannah wonders if God wanted her in Everwood. Bright thinks so; maybe if Hannah had been in Minnesota, her mother would have been too worried about her to take care of her father, something which Hannah seems to be taking into consideration. “All I know is I’m frickin’ happy that you came here. If you hadn’t....” Hannah asks what, so he goes on: “I never would have met you. And I never would’ve known I could feel this way about someone.” Hannah is very much moved. Bright concludes with an apology for trying to feel her up, which amuses her. Now it’s Hannah’s turn to make a grand statement: “I love you, Bright.” Bright is caught off-guard, but does not follow the longstanding tradition of saying nothing or something stupid after hearing this; which is to say, he returns the sentiment. He doesn’t seem to entirely mean it yet, or at least realize that he means it, but it’s a good gesture on his part. They kiss. And I have to say: aw, that was like a S3 conversation! Which is not surprising, because this episode? Was written by the same person who also wrote this scene. Good times.

Upbeat music plays while Amy cleans up the landfill that used to be the Abbott living room. She picks up and examines some mysterious object. Ephram suddenly manifests and readily IDs it: “Hairball mixed with carpet fuzz with remnants of what used to be a Dorito.” Heh. Amy finds both the object and Ephram’s quick identification of it scary. Ephram reminds her that he lives with Bright. He observes that the front door was wide open, which Amy explains was done in order to air out the smell. “It took my parents leaving for ten days for me to realize that I am actually a closet slob.” Ephram replies that he already knew. “Every time you left my garage last year, it was like Pig Pen had just been there. Sometimes when I think about you, I envision this, like, dust cloud over your head.” Hee! Amy retorts that this makes Ephram the “obsessive Peanut who’s always banging away at his piano.” Ephram remarks that “chicks love Schroeder.” Rats. I forgot that this is one of those scenes that makes me like the idea of E/A. Looks like the recap’s gonna be longer than I thought. Ephram half-heartedly pitches in, carrying the trashcan closer to Amy, before starting in with his actual reason for being there. He says that he wants to talk to her about something, to which Amy replies that she knows. Ephram is surprised. Amy continues, nonsensically: “Except I still don’t know how.” Ephram wonders if she means how she knows, but Amy actually means how he knows. Ephram and Amy: “I’m confused.” Hee. Amy speaks first, commenting that Ephram knows about Reid. Ephram confirms this, explaining that he saw them the other night in the apartment. Amy is more than a little mortified and apologizes. Ephram waves it away as no big deal, but Amy adds that she thought he and Bright were asleep, and that she had planned to tell Ephram if it turned serious. She concludes that she should have told Ephram about her feelings back when he first moved into the apartment. Ephram is plainly hurt to learn that Amy and Reid’s history predates his own moving in. Amy notes that she’s actually kind of the reason Reid’s even living there. She relates the whole sordid history of her crush and Reid’s seeming homosexuality. Ephram is still stuck on the idea that they even knew each other prior to Ephram’s return, but Amy presses on, apologizing some more for her handling of the situation. Ephram reiterates that it’s no big deal, and that whoever she chooses to date or hang out with has nothing to do with him. They’re just friends, and “should be able to talk about this stuff, or–or, also not have to talk about this stuff, or...huh, y’know, whatever we want!” Well, that sure sounds like a plan. Amy asks if that was what Ephram wanted to talk about. Ephram gives her a weak smile and says that it was; he wanted to make sure she didn’t feel weird about things. Amy thanks him. Ephram says he’ll see her around, and walks off, dejectedly...

...through the Brown back door! What a weird cut, because it would appear that it’s connected to the Abbott front door! Whatever! So Ephram tells Andy that he needs to eat dinner there tonight, “and possibly for the next twenty nights in a row, if that’s okay with you.” Andy is chopping something intently, and only answers with a “Hmm.” Ephram continues that he did something he shouldn’t have, “but I thought I would at least do the right thing to make up for that wrong thing, except I didn’t even do the thing I was going to do.” Andy makes another mm-hmm noise. Ephram: “So I’m moving to Alaska. I’m gonna work on a fishing boat. It’s dangerous, but the pay is good.” Andy: “Oh, that’s great!” Hee. After a couple of seconds, he finally looks up from his produce and asks “What?” before apologizing for his distraction. Ephram asks if it’s because of a patient, which Andy confirms that it is. Ephram assumes that the patient is dying, but Andy claims that the situation might be worse than that, but that he has no way of helping. He says that it’s a “long story,” however, and turns the conversation back over to Ephram. Ephram would rather hear Andy’s story. Andy neatly summarizes it as involving a father who kept something from his daughter and the potential destruction of their relationship. Ephram: “I wouldn’t know anything about that.” Andy smiles, and it’s awfully nice how they can make quips about Madibabygate now. Ephram assumes that Det. Daniels will still have time to repair her relationship with Brian, provided he makes it through surgery, but Andy is concerned about Brian’s will to live through that surgery in the first place, and doubts that he’ll survive if his daughter isn’t there. Ephram thinks that Andy can convince her to be there, but Andy says that his involvement would feel somewhat hypocritical. “How can I ask this girl to forgive her father when I’ve barely begun to forgive myself for what I did to you?” The two stare at each other for a moment before Ephram remarks that he forgave Andy “a long time ago.” Andy smiles again, and, in an indication of their newly-harmonious relationship, chop produce together.

Jayne sits on Nina’s porch. Hannah comes out of the house, apparently having just talked with Amy on the phone. She explains that Harold and Rose are back and have invited she and Jayne to “some dessert thing,” which Hannah hastily assures her they don’t have to attend. Jayne, however, would very much like to go, particularly so she can meet “the legendary Dr. Abbott.” He is at that, Jayne. He is at that. Hannah stands awkwardly for a few moments, then apologizes for “everything” and joins her mother on the bench. Jayne offers her own apology. She then moves into an explanation for why Hannah’s father chose cremation over a funeral; he wanted to be remembered for his spirit rather than his disease. Hannah gets it, and Jayne continues that the memories his family and loved ones have of him are different, but when they put them together they make up who he was and...huh. It suddenly occurs to me that I might care more about this scene if I had some conception of who Hannah’s father actually was. Like, a name would be nice. Just sayin’. Jayne announces that she has something for Hannah, and the two walk into the house, where Hannah is presented with a small urn. Jayne explains that she divided his ashes into three, so each family member could “say goodbye in their own way, or never say goodbye at all.” Hannah hugs the urn and thanks her mother, adding that she really missed her. Jayne missed Hannah, too. And they hug. It's just that kind of an episode.

Sam’s. Andy and Det. Daniels sit at a table; Andy thanks her for agreeing to meet him, she says it’s on her way home from work and she’s a big fan of the Hazelnut Toffee Mochas, she knows that Andy wants her at Brian’s surgery. Andy tells her it's scheduled for Friday at 9, and adds that he’ll reschedule it if the time doesn’t work for her. Det. Daniels refuses to go, however, even though she knows Andy must think she’s a terrible person. Andy admits that he’s made too many mistakes to pass judgment on anyone else. Det. Daniels asks why she’s there, then. Andy says that he thought it might be better for her to talk with someone who could relate to what she’s going through. Det. Daniels appreciates his effort, but insists that talking about it won’t change what happened. Andy: “The damage is already done, that’s the past. But what I’m trying to do is to protect your future. And I’m telling you that even though you don’t think you can forgive your father, it is possible.” Det. Daniels wonders how he can say that. Andy smiles and confesses that he, as a father, has done the unforgivable and was forgiven. He stands and introduces Ephram, who’s sitting at an adjacent table. Ephram takes over Andy’s seat, and the scene ends there, though I would really, really love to hear that particular conversation. “Uh, yeah, so when I was 16 I got my 21-year-old girlfriend pregnant, but she told my dad first and then he paid her to go off somewhere else, and I didn’t find out about the kid until I randomly ran into that ex in New York, and she told me he’d been adopted by some couple in Marin County. And then I blew off my Juilliard audition, sold a bunch of piano equipment my dad had bought out of guilt, and bummed around Europe for a few months. You?”

Haroldesque music plays, this time with some kind of whimsical “jungle” twist, while slides of various animals are displayed. Harold, in reference to a slide showing an open-mouthed hippopotamus, makes a joke about tongue depressors. It’s not worth quoting. Most of those gathered in the Abbott living room laugh lamely, while Bright leans over to assure Hannah that it should only take “about ten more hours.” Which is only about twice as long as this episode is starting to feel. Harold notes that the man standing with him in the next slide is Masai [dreams do come true, Harold!]. Edna asks who the “moron in the George of the Jungle outfit” is. Heh. Everyone laughs more genuinely at this. Irv tells a charming story about Masai circumcision customs. Harold tells Irv that he’s just “full of fascinating tidbits,” while Edna explains that he’s researching his next book. [That he’ll never finish! Aw.] Rose enters, carrying a tray of something, and tells Amy how “fantastic” the house looks. Amy: “Oh, well, when you clean as you go, it’s not so hard.” Bright rolls his eyes a little. Harold points out the next slide to Rose, which shows her surrounded by children. She mentions that Linda took them to some village where they met lots of orphans. Hannah and Bright exchange some look that seems meaningful, though I’ve no idea why, actually, unless they’ve just realized what Harold and Rose’s next story arc is going to be. Harold informs Jayne who Linda is, but Jayne, a little coldly, says that Hannah already told her. Harold remarks that Jayne probably knows more about the Abbotts than he does, and Jayne replies that she thinks it “goes both ways.” Okay, then: Harold, can you tell me what Hannah’s father’s name was? Jayne procedes to thank him for everything. Harold declares that thanks are unnecessary, and that Hannah is both a “joy” and a “virtual Abbott.” Amy offers a rather sarcastic “lucky her,” so apparently she’s hormonal now, too. Jayne observes how loved Hannah seems to be by all of them. “You really have become another family for her...which is why this is so difficult to say.” Amy, quite reasonably, asks what Jayne means. Jayne continues to speak for her daughter, who’s in tears and looking fairly unwell; she says that she and Hannah have talked about it, and Hannah’s decided to leave with Jayne the next week. Bright asks if they’re going on another cruise. Jayne, in an awfully patronizing tone, explains that Hannah’s returning to Minnesota. Hannah sadly and reluctantly turns to Bright and Amy. Bright looks betrayed. Amy, suddenly on the verge of tears herself, asks “What?” Hannah takes a deep breath and finally speaks. “It’s just that my mom has had so much to deal with by herself over the last two years...and...well, now there’s really no reason for me to stay.” Ah...we’ve come almost full circle. Because right now? Hannah kind of sucks. The first reaction shot is Harold’s, but that’s probably only because spending too much time on Bright’s would only result in hearts breaking everywhere. There’s that saying about how someone looks as though his dog just got shot? We’re talking puppies, people. Litters and litters. Kittens, too. Even Temporarily Sucky Hannah is moved, as she hastily apologizes and says that it came out wrong. “It’s just...I think it’s time for me to go home.” Then they cut to Bright again, because they’re evil.

Andy, meanwhile, is at home enjoying a college basketball game. Ephram enters, and Andy asks how his talk with Det. Daniels went. Ephram doesn’t know what she’s decided, but mentions that she seemed “pretty cool” about it. “It’s amazing though – all this time I thought you were the worst dad in the world; turns out, not so much.” Andy: “Gee, I’m touched. Thank you.” Hee. Ephram says he enjoyed having the opportunity to help someone out, though he doesn’t know if it made a difference. Andy is glad that he was at least willing to try. Ephram notes that for the first time, he could understand why people become doctors. “It’s not just about saving people’s lives; sometimes it’s about helping them save their own lives.” Andy says that’s true of good days, at least. Then he reveals Ephram’s reward for doing a good deed: a big platter of chips and salsa. Which would seem to complement the game nicely, but then Andy turns off the television [which, I have to wonder what kind of a basketball fan he is to do that, but whatever] and reminds Ephram that he had wanted to tell Andy something. Andy assumes it’s about Amy, but Ephram says he can’t remember. “Let’s just leave it at: I’m a loser.” Andy: “Yeah, well, unfortunately, you get that from my side of the family. But hey! Your mom’s genes could kick in any day now.” Ephram thanks Andy for the “inspiring” thought. Andy, more seriously, guesses that he didn’t tell Amy about his feelings. “I suppose a ‘don’t be so hard on yourself’ would be wasted here?” Ephram requests something less “generic.” Andy draws on his own “recent” experience with Nina to suggest that sometimes, telling someone how you feel doesn’t change anything. Aw, Andy. You really ought to start offering motivational seminars. Oh, but wait! Clearly Ephram is still ignorant of the Andy/Nina antics, because he asks about Andy’s “recent someone.” Andy begins to recount the tragic tale, while we pull out to view Ephram and Andy through the window, in a shot somewhat reminiscent of the closing scene of the Pilot. It’s nice to at least end the episode on a good note.

Next time: Hannah gets her own A-storyline, but is bedeviled by mediocre writing; Andy and Harold consider jumping out of a plane to their deaths; and Jake’s friend Cliff discovers that names really are destiny.