Enjoy the Ride

Apartment. Bright is hanging out on the couch, bouncing a ball off the brick wall and listening to Sarah McLachlan’s “Good Enough.” Bright, soulfully: “Sing it, girl.” Heeeee. Bright has been effectively transformed into myself as a 16-year-old. He is suddenly rudely disturbed by the phone ringing on a nearby table; he weakly leans over to reach it with his unbroken hand, but gives up and lets it go to answering. Turns out to be a very chipper-sounding Reid, announcing that he's been discharged from the hospital and will be home in an hour and can’t wait to see everyone! Bright: “Oh, crap.” Bright, suddenly panicked, makes the effort to reach the phone, and dials a number, which turns out to be Amy’s, as we now cut to she and Hannah getting their nails done. Amy picks up and informs Bright that she can’t talk to him now; Bright doesn’t care, and asks how soon she can get to the apartment. Amy asks what’s wrong, prompting Hannah to ask, with at least some degree of concern, the same question of Amy. Bright frantically explains that Reid is coming home while Ephram is still in New York, “which means I’m the entire Welcome Wagon for a guy who just tried to off himself!” I sort of hate myself for being mildly amused by that line. Blame it on Chris Pratt’s delivery. Amy reminds Bright that he is Reid’s roommate, but Bright again pleads with her to come over. She finally tells him she’ll be there as fast as she can, which catches Hannah a bit off-guard. Bright thanks Amy. Amy: “Are you listening to Sarah McLachlan?” Bright respectfully requests that she “shut it” and hangs up. Hannah, too, is just a little amused by this last bit, but asks what the matter is. Amy informs her of Bright’s sheer terror; Hannah deems this explanation “fair enough.” Amy continues, very subtly, that it might be nice if ALL of Reid’s friends were there to welcome him home with “love and support.” Hannah’s all, “I don’t mind at all if you want to go over there, Amy.” Amy looks at her expectantly, leading Hannah to exclaim “No! Absolutely not!” several times over. Amy protests that Hannah doesn’t know what she was going to say, but Hannah does, actually, and refuses to go to “that house” with Amy. Amy insists that it’s about Reid, not Bright, and “isn’t being there for him the Christian thing to do?” Hannah rebuts that suicide is a sin, “so don’t even try to bring Jesus into this!” Well, now, to be fair, Hannah, I seem to recall that we also have those little sayings about “casting the first stone” and not judging others, so if you’re really going to argue on those grounds... In any event, Amy suggests, then, just being there out of friendship. Hannah admits to feeling bad for Reid, but also says that it’s “not the right time” to see Bright. Amy, however, thinks it’s “the perfect time,” as the hugeness of Reid’s situation “diffuses” the Bright/Hannah situation. Hannah concedes this point, and Amy continues, on a shallower note, that Hannah’s having a good hair day and now has “new and shiny” hands and feet. Hannah, eyebrow raised, asks if this wasn’t supposed to be about Reid. Amy agrees that it is, but it doesn’t mean Hannah can’t look good. After a few seconds, Hannah finally gives in, but refuses to stay for long. Amy suggests twenty minutes, just enough time to make sure Reid's okay and show him that they’re there for him. Hannah then proceeds to wreck both her good hair day and her shiny hands as she absent-mindedly starts to pull her hair back, and, too late, recalls the manicure. Amy, somewhat amused, requests a touch-up. Credits!

Everwood sidewalk. Andy walks down the street while Delia and friend Brittany bike down the sidewalk proper. Delia calls for his attention more times than seems necessary before he finally reaches them. He asks if someone is hurt; Delia and Brittany declare that it’s much worse than that, as Delia just learned that Thalia’s birthday party is the same day as her bat mitzvah. She frantically continues that they’ll “obviously” have to change the date, perhaps to some weekend in July. Andy chuckles a bit and reminds Delia that they can’t change the date; “it’s like a wedding, except instead of a groom, you have a cantor.” Delia asks if Andy can’t just call everyone and tell them he made a mistake. Brittany suggests email as a more efficient alternative. Andy firmly replies that he can’t do any of those things, and, furthermore, doesn’t know what the big deal is, asking why Thalia can’t just move the date of her party. Delia duhs that Thalia’s “the most popular person in our whole grade!!!” Brittany: “We’re talking both classrooms.” Andy reminds Delia that her bat mitzvah is not just a party, but a rite of passage that entailed “months and months of planning.” Brittany breezily interjects that many people plan events and then change the dates: “My stepmother changed a whole cruise vacation because she figured out it was going to be her time of the month.” Andy, mildly sickened, thanks Brittany for this. Brittany smiles triumphantly. Andy gets back on-topic, telling Delia that there’s nothing he can do, but that he’s sure people will still come. Delia pouts, while Andy concludes that he has to return to work, but asks if she’ll be okay. Delia nods, poutily. Once Andy’s gone, Delia asks, hesitantly, if Brittany will still attend her bat mitzvah. Brittany isn’t sure, adding that she herself is not even Jewish. Delia thinks Brittany’s lucky, as her people were “obviously chosen to be miserable!” Brittany agrees, and they resume their ride. Hope you’re enjoying it! Ha ha!

Apartment of Denial but Not Really Because Everything's Great So There's Nothing to Deny! Really! Bright is intensely relieved when Amy walks through the door, and unnecessarily remarks that he has “no idea what to say” when Reid returns. At Hannah’s entrance, Bright flashes a faint but goopy smile, and happily says hi. Hannah, making every effort to avoid the sight of him, responds with an icy hello. Amy smiles tensely at Bright, while Hannah looks as though she's about to undergo a Novocaineless root canal. (Also, in a nice show of continuity, her hair’s now a bit of a mess.) Amy cuts to the chase and asks when Reid will be back. Bright says it should be any minute, and proposes his game plan: “You two, you’re gonna talk to him, I’m gonna hang back, kind of supervise the whole situation...” Amy calls him a “moron,” then, sniffing, asks what smells like deodorant. Bright informs her that it is, in fact, Right Guard, as the apartment “stunk” and he was out of air freshener. See? This is what comes of cheating on Hannah. Now who’s going to unearth old slices of pizza from under the couch cushions? Reid, clutching a potted plant, suddenly bursts into the apartment. Amy offers him a peppy, if slightly nervous, “welcome home!” and hugs him. Hannah’s more tentative, but Reid assures her he won’t “break,” and they hug, too. Bright gives him a firm handshake and says it’s good to have him back. Reid’s all “Missed you too, man!!” which is only the first of many overly perky line deliveries. As he sets his plant down, Amy asks how he is. Reid replies that he’s “really great!,” though his back is a little sore from the poor quality of the hospital bed. He concludes, however, that he’s happy to be home. Amy smiles encouragingly. Reid settles down at the counter and enthusiastically asks what he missed. “Anything exciting?” Amy and Bright exchange a look before Amy replies that he didn’t really miss anything. Hannah is slightly weirded-out. Reid asks if Ephram is at school, so Bright informs him of the New York trip. Reid: “Cool. Living the [insert weird hand-waving gesture] Juilliard dream! Right on.” Reid suddenly picks up a basketball and asks if Bright would be up for a game. Hannah and Amy exchange a pair of fairly awesome perplexed glances, as Reid continues that he’s a little “stir-crazy.” Bright accepts Reid’s invitation. Reid leaves to take a shower, and the three watch him exit. Once he’s out of the room, Amy wonders if she missed something. Bright agrees that it was “a little weird,” but Amy observes that he acted more like he just returned from a spa visit than from a stay in the hospital. Bright, not wanting to think too deeply about it, suggests that Reid may just be “back to normal,” though Amy insists that it’s not possible. Hannah, in any event, decides that Reid’s all right for now, and informs Amy that she’s leaving, before tearing out the door. Bright sighs and sadly observes that Hannah couldn’t even look at him. Amy suggests that it’ll take some time, but Bright wonders how much time. Amy doesn’t know, but thinks probably “longer than it’s taken Reid.” Amy sighs, while Bright is glum.

Harold, performing a sonogram on his very pregnant patient Kathy, is expositing that everything looks great, she’ll have a C-section in two days and will take home a girl. Meanwhile, Justin Kirk, AKA ‘James,’ is leaning against the wall and looking quite the opposite of "great." Kathy intones that she knows exactly who Harold is. James continues to be miserable, while Harold notes that, once Kathy gives birth, they’ll be able to put her back on her medication, and “everything will get back to normal.” James, sounding stressed, remarks that he’s forgotten what “normal” is like, and has spent every day of the past nine months feeling as though he’s been hit by a truck. He underscores this last remark with a big sniffle. Harold, concerned, observes that he does look “rather run-down,” and invites him into the office to talk and possibly prescribe something for his seeming cold, leaving Louise to tend to Kathy. James takes a seat and wonders if Kathy will even remember the pregnancy; Harold admits that she probably won’t remember it as well as he will. James deems her “lucky.” Harold, finally deciding to provide the viewers with a full explanation, remarks that schizophrenia is “brutal” and that Kathy is “brave” to go through with the pregnancy. James, however, thinks that he might just be “stupid” for letting her, and continues that he never wanted a baby in the first place and was “more than happy” with just the two of them. He concludes, however, that Kathy is “stubborn.” Harold, examining James’s throat, chuckles that “she’s been that way since she was fifteen,” by which age she was already determined to be a mom in spite of the schizophrenia. As Harold moves on to the ears, James remarks that he’d never seen Kathy ill prior to the pregnancy, as she had always been on her meds; “schizophrenia is just this concept. It’s like a story in a scrapbook from her childhood,” and he never realized how bad it could really be. Harold assures him that though it’s put a strain on his marriage, it won’t matter once he’s holding his new daughter. James, though, tersely replies that he “can’t even think about that,” and confesses that, though he knows it sounds “horrible,” he resents the baby “for putting me through this, for making me look at my wife differently.” Harold passes no judgment, but is instead preoccupied by a series of nasty bruises on James’s left arm. He asks if Kathy’s been violent, but James actually doesn’t know how he got them. He rolls up his right sleeve to show off a few more, and ruefully laughs that they’re probably the result of fighting Kathy to get into the bath. Harold recalls James’s earlier admission of being tired, and asks if he has any other symptoms, such as headaches or nausea. James mentions bleeding gums, but had attributed the problem to stress. Harold rather doubtfully replies that he’s “sure that it is,” but suggests that he’d like to run some bloodwork. James is fine with this, then asks if Harold doesn’t think he’s a “horrible person” for his comments about the baby. Harold does not, and says that he is, instead, “a man who’s deeply in love with his wife – and I think she’s lucky to have you.” James smiles a bit, though Harold is clearly worried about James’s health.

Jake’s office. Edna informs him that ‘Sandra Brown’ [which, incidentally, confused me for a moment as it sounds a heck of a lot like ‘Andrew Brown’ and made me wonder if he had suddenly decided to go for collagen injections or something] is next, and adds that he's just received his third fax of the week from UCLA. Jake crumples up said fax, as Edna observes that it’s also the third he’s thrown away: “What’s with all the tree-killing? You’re going to run us out of fax paper.” Jake replies, slightly irritably, that it’s his old partners; “as usual, they’re trying to take a good idea and make it profitable.” For shame! Edna: “Evil bastards.” She laughs at her own remark, saving me a "hee." Jake laughs at well, and concedes that it’s not a “terrible thing,” but goes on to explain that they want him to pursue a master's in counseling, thus making him more marketable and also enabling him to do more one-on-one work. Edna is impressed, observing that it sounds like a great opportunity to help people, “much as I’d miss helping you inject poison into snotty women’s foreheads...” Jake admits to being tired of the cosmetics work himself, but isn’t sure that it’s the right time to make such a huge change, especially having just gotten his relationship with Nina back on track. Edna chirpily suggests that he just take Nina with him! Jake, though, won’t ask Nina to leave Everwood, considering how much she’s already sacrificed for him; more importantly, Everwood is Nina’s home, where her business and friends are located. Edna wonders why Jake thinks Nina would choose all those things over him. Jake stares at Edna a moment, plainly doubting her, and finally shakes his head and declares that he could never ask Nina to choose. He walks out, while Edna seems surprisingly distressed by the whole business.

Sam’s. Amy, on the job, pours coffee for a customer who also happens to be a classmate, as she asks if she can borrow his notes from some class or other. And because we’ll be seeing him again, I’ll just say it right now: his name is Nick, and he looks, for all the world, like the misbegotten love child of Bright and Gilmore Girls's Logan Huntzberger, apparently sent off to be raised by some distant Australian relative so as to avoid scandal. It’s all rather unnerving. Anyhoo, Nick agrees to give her the notes and, in the process, makes a quip that I can’t understand because I have apparently spontaneously lost the capacity to understand Australian accents. That interaction concluded, Amy turns around to find PeachyKeen!Reid, who grins broadly and asks what she’s doing Friday night. Amy, still processing his total okay-ness, can only reply with an “uhhhhhh...”, allowing Reid to continue that he thought they could go out for dinner and/or a movie. Amy accepts with a slightly dubious “okay,” while Reid adds that they can do it another time if Friday doesn’t work for her. Amy assures him that Friday’s great, though continues, eyebrows furrowed, that “she just...” Reid doesn’t give her a chance to finish, though, as he says he’ll call her, and zips out of the coffee shop. As Amy again attempts to process what just occurred, Hannah walks up to inform her that the restrooms are out of toilet paper; noticing Amy’s puzzlement, she asks what happened. Amy explains that she “thinks” Reid asked her on a date, “and I think I said yes.” Hannah is just a little horrified, and asks if Amy likes him again. Amy firmly denies this, but excuses her response on the basis of Reid being “in a fragile state.” Hannah thinks that’s exactly the point: “What if he has, like, a nervous breakdown, or he tries to kiss you and you turn away and he just totally loses it? I mean, you’re not trained for any of that!” Hannah certainly is a helpful one this ep. Amy accuses Hannah of “freaking [her] out,” but Hannah rebuts that it’s a “freaky situation,” and that Amy shouldn’t go alone. Amy is hugely relieved by what she incorrectly takes as Hannah's offer of support, and embraces her, thanking her effusively for being “such a good friend.” Hannah exclaims “no” several times, and insists that she can’t go, as she makes a “terrible third wheel.” Amy says that they can just find a fourth wheel, then, and make a “group friend thing” of it, punctuating her suggestion with a smile and encouraging shrug. Hannah accurately reminds Amy that Amy is her group, “unless you want me to go with Ephram, which would be...oogy.” Oh, Hannah, don’t toy with my Ephram/you friendshipper heart so. Amy assures her that it wouldn’t be Ephram, prompting Hannah to warn Amy against suggesting Bright. Amy, glancing at the nearby table, opts instead for Lite Bright: “Nick!” Hannah, confused, says that she doesn’t know anyone with that name, but Amy, now as cheerful as Reid, says she will, as she leads a reluctant Hannah over to his table. Amy introduces them. Nick smiles pleasantly. Hannah smiles awkwardly before giving Amy an only slightly-homicidal sidelong glance.

Nina and Jake kitchen. Andy has just told Nina, off-screen, of Delia’s scheduling conflict, which Nina sympathetically exclaims is “awful.” Andy mutters that he “knew Thalia was trouble the minute I heard that squeaky voice talking about carbs.” Nina thinks “she sounds like the devil.” Andy, looking suddenly inspired, muses that there’s a flu going around. “Maybe...” Nina suggests that there might be a “solution that doesn’t involve germ warfare.” Andy declares himself open to suggestions, so Jake, who’s thus far been in the background, putting away dishes or something, makes an eminently practical one: “Kids just want to be part of the coolest thing out there, right? So you just make sure that Delia’s party is so cool that no kid could turn it down.” Wow! That’s...totally useless advice! Thanks, Jake! Andy is not keen on teaching Delia to “buy her way out of a problem with a bigger name.” Jake looks wounded. In a shocking turn of events, however, Nina agrees with Andy, wondering what Delia would end up expecting for her Sweet 16. She makes the more reasonable suggestion that Andy just discuss the matter with Thalia’s mother, since, surely once she understood the bat mitzvah’s significance, she’d consider moving the party date. Andy understates that he gets “a little pushy” when he doesn’t get his way, and thus fears ruining the remainder of Delia’s junior high experience. Nina volunteers to go with him, claiming that she’s good at “keeping [her] cool” and that “moms love” her. Andy, amused: “Really?” Jake, skeptical: “Really?” Hee! Perhaps these are the mothers of the few children who haven’t yet been corrupted by Nina. Nina insists that they “absolutely” do, and continues that by teaming with Andy, they would have the “ganging up effect” in their favor. She turns to Jake for confirmation that this last method works. Jake, whose mind has suddenly wandered, is all “Huh? What? Uh, yeah, babe.” Andy, all smiles, thanks Nina and informs her that she’s performing a mitzvah – “that’s Hebrew for ‘good deed.’” Aw, look at Andy, gettin’ down with his incredibly basic knowledge of Hebrew, when just a handful of episodes ago he didn’t know the difference between “mazel tov” and “mandelbrot.” Growth. As Andy and Nina chuckle, Jake stares at them, just a little jealous.

Morning in the Abbott kitchen. As Rose shuffles through the slides (as seen in the last episode), Harold declares himself “off to save the world.” Rose exposits that it’s only her second day at the museum, and she’s already running late. Harold retrieves a banana from the fruit bowl on the counter and offers it as “potassium?” but Rose declines, saying she’ll just get something at the museum coffee shop. She continues that she’ll be working late, but there are leftovers in the refrigerator. Harold doubts that he’ll be home at dinnertime, either, as the office has been busy. [Horribly depressing, too, but we haven’t quite gotten to that point yet.] He asks when Rose will be home; she doesn’t know, but tells him not to wait up, as she’ll be going to bed as soon as she gets home. Harold will, as well, and wishes her a good day. A quick kiss, and they’re off.

Andy and Nina are having their very reasonable chat with Thalia’s Mom. Andy is explaining the bat mitzvah’s significance, and notes that it just wouldn’t be the same for Delia if Thalia couldn’t be there. Thalia’s tall-haired, scarf-wearing mother agrees: “Thalia’s a very special girl.” Andy, teeth gritted, grins and nods. After a few beats, he asks if this means Thalia et al. will move the party. Thalia’s Mom, however, says that she “sympathize[s]” with Andy, and supposes that she could move Thalia’s party, “but then what kind of message would that send? That your daughter is more important than mine? That seems rather unfair.” Nina and Andy shift a little, and Andy continues that he’s not sure Thalia’s Mom gets how important the bat mitzvah is to Delia, as it’s a “once in a lifetime event” and has required months of studying and preparation. Thalia’s Mom has a suggestion: “Then perhaps you should consider moving the event if it means that much to Delilah.” Heh. As Andy looks increasingly disgusted, Nina finally pipes up, correcting the name and asking, still perfectly civil, how many times they have to explain that the bat mitzvah is a rite of passage rather than a party. Thalia’s Mom shifts her gaze to the side for a moment before finally coming to a decision: let the kids decide for themselves which event to attend! Nina sarcastically asks whether the kids are more likely to prefer Ashlee Simpson or Cantor Fortis. Given the available options, I’m going with Door #2 myself. Thalia’s Mom snits that they can’t blame her for that, and declares that “the problem here is that we just have different styles of parenting.” Nina’s had it, which we all saw coming after she boasted about being able to keep her cool, and calls Thalia’s Mom a “piece of work. I can see where your daughter gets her brat gene!” Hee. Andy pats Nina on the arm a few times and gives her a “steady, Nina,” to no avail. Thalia’s Mom stands and urges them to leave; Nina stands as well and asks if she’ll call Ashlee’s bodyguard to throw her out. “I’m so scared. Bring it on, Sweater Set!” Andy: “And now it’s time to go.” He hustles her out of the house. Sweater Set is miffed.

Apartment. Reid’s on the phone, saying that something “sounds great” and that he’ll pick everyone up around seven. After the call ends, he grins broadly and dons his sneakers. Bright, reclining on the couch, asks what has Reid “doing a happy dance,” though, honestly, at this point Reid probably does happy dances when the sun appears, and the law of gravity continues to hold true. Reid, practically weeping with joy, giddily replies that it was just Amy calling to confirm their “date.” Bright stares at him dubiously, while Reid continues that there’s no problem, since he already called Ephram, who’s “totally cool” with it. Bright returns to his reading [seriously! He’s reading something! I’m so proud!] and gives him an underwhelmed “all righty, then.” Reid continues that “it’s so cool: we’re all going bowling. I haven’t done that since high school!” Bright, not paying much attention, asks who comprises the “all.” Reid runs down the list: himself, Amy, Hannah, “and some Nick person?” Bright’s attention is now fully engaged. He looks at Reid suspiciously, as Reid continues that he thought Nick was perhaps “a buddy or something.” Bright, however, intensely asserts that he “ain’t got no buddies named ‘Nick.’ I know no Nicks.” Reid hastens to reply that Bright shouldn’t worry, since it “sounded like a friend thing.” An ‘Amy hostage situation’ thing, really. Reid then helpfully adds a “what do I know? I’ll keep an eye on it for you, okay?” After Reid leaves for his jog, Bright flings his reading material to the floor in anger.

Bedtime in the Nina et al. household. Nina, in the master bathroom, is explaining that they need to find a way to make Delia’s bat mitzvah “the place to be.” Jake, in the bedroom itself, appears to be very tired of the subject. Nina asks if he knows anyone at Apple: “‘Cause maybe we could give out Nanos as party favors!” She seems very pleased with this idea, while Jake whines that he doesn’t even have a Nano. Hee. He also adds, pointedly, that he thought they didn’t want to teach the kids to buy their way out of problems. Nina, however, has decided to “screw the lesson,” because she wants revenge and for “Delia’s party to kick ass.” Jake weakly points out that it’s supposed to be a rite of passage. Nina irritably asks if he’s actually trying to annoy her, “because I’m already at, like, 9 here.” Jake can tell, but wonders why. Nina notes, not incorrectly, that Thalia’s Mom was “horrible.” Jake asks why Nina cares as much as does, given that it’s not her problem, as the Browns aren’t “family.” Nina protests that they are, “in a way.” Jake observes, however, that they’re actually not: “I know they feel like they are, but you have a family already. There’s gotta be a line, right?” Nina defensively asks what that means, and makes her way to the vanity. Jake explains that “feeling bad for Delia is one thing, but marching over to some woman’s house with Andy is another. He’s not your husband.” Nina wears a blank expression as Jake, after a few moments, asks if she ever considered how all this might make Jake feel, particularly given how Nina and Andy “used to feel” about each other. Nina takes this all in, and finally apologizes for not thinking about that, adding hastily, and, one would think, unnecessarily, that Jake does realize there’s nothing going on between them, right? Jake does know this, and says that he trusts her, Nina’s response to which is to look somewhat guilty. Jake gazes at her a moment and makes several unsuccessful attempts to speak before Nina finally implores him to tell her. Jake reluctantly says that it’s “nothing,” but that things between them have seemed “off” since his return from L.A. He asks if he’s crazy. Nina’s like, “Of course you are! Everything’s great! Ha ha ha!” Jake smiles, but seems unconvinced, though I can’t fathom why. They kiss. Jake heads for the bathroom, while Nina remains seated at the vanity and looks guilty some more.

Next day. In spite of her apparent status as a relatively popular girl, Delia’s eating lunch alone, until a girl who looks older than 11 or 12 takes a seat at the table and declares that she’s been looking everywhere for Delia, as she has “some amazing info” for her. Delia replies that she already knows about Courtney kissing some boy in the cafeteria. Delia’s friend – oh, I’ll just come out with it: Thalia – deems that “old news,” as they’ve been a couple since third period. Seriously, Delia. No, Thalia’s real news is that “that loser Ashlee Simpson” backed out of performing at her party. Delia is happily stunned, while Thalia continues that her horrible mom is now booking Jessica, which is a step up. I guess. Thalia concludes that the process should take a few weeks, meaning that Delia’s “bat mitzvah thing is back on.” Delia notes that there were never any plans to cancel it, but says that she’s glad Thalia can attend. Thalia’s happy, but just has one little request of Delia: uninvite Brittany, “like, ten minutes ago.” Delia asks why, as Thalia and Brittany are friends and, more importantly, she’s been Delia’s best friend for ages. Thalia, however, says that Brittany is “evil” because she totally tried to kiss Micah Dyer, whom “everyone knows” Thalia totally broke up with just two weeks before, meaning that he’s “off-limits” for an additional four weeks!!! !1!1!11! Delia diplomatically suggests that Brittany may not have known, but Thalia aggressively reminds her that “rules are rules: ignorance is no excuse.” Thalia, standing, concludes that Delia can invite Brittany if she wants, but “if you do? She’ll be the only one there.” Sadly, Sweater Set seems to be the friendly one in the family. Thalia says it’s “Delia’s call,” and stalks off, leaving Delia all forlorn.

Harold’s Office of Horrible Medical News. James asks what’s wrong, wondering if they have to reschedule the C-section. Harold, however, informs him that his test results came back, and his condition is far more serious than they initially thought: he’s in the advanced stages of aplastic anemia. James, reasonably confused, asks what that means, exactly. Harold explains that his bone marrow has stopped producing red and white blood cells and platelets, making him susceptible to all the things he’s already experienced, as well as infection. In summary: “Your body’s fighting a losing battle.” As James tries to process this, Harold concludes that his chances of long-term survival are low, adding a heartfelt, but probably not very useful, “I’m so sorry.” Incidentally, aplastic anemia is not actually the automatic death sentence that the show makes it out to be, but Tom Amandes and Justin Kirk are so good here that I really don’t care. James wonders if “that’s it: I just die?” Harold suggests that some measures can be taken to prolong his life, citing isolation as the main one. James, however, disbelievingly asks if Harold is “crazy,” given that the C-section is scheduled for the next day and he can’t leave Kathy. Harold consolingly says that he knows this, while James wonders what happens after the baby is born. Harold doesn’t have an answer, although anyone who’s seen “Foreverwood” does. James stands, and, pacing a little, asks if he’s supposed to spend weeks in a hospital, noting that Kathy will need his help. He finally declares that “there’s no way” he’ll go to the hospital. Harold quietly acknowledges that it’s an “overwhelming amount of information to take in,” as well as an “incredibly difficult decision,” but that, as James’s doctor, he wanted to suggest a treatment. “As a friend,” however, he understands if James chooses not to pursue it. James nods a little, then, looking stricken, wonders how this happened to him. “I’m about to be a father. Having a little girl. My life can’t be ending – my life’s just starting. Just starting now.” Harold looks down sadly. Well. After all that, who isn’t ready for...

...Super Terrific Happy Bowling Hour! Reid, for one, is pumped! Bowling a strike, he emits a “Whoo!” and exclaims that he has the “touch” tonight! He asks for his score, which is, according to Nick, a 180. Nick concludes that they should all just forfeit. Reid turns to Amy and suggests, possibly only semi-jokingly, that they join a bowling league and get matching shirts. Amy dryly calls that “every girl’s dream,” and Reid turns to Hannah, asking if she’s in. Hannah: “I don’t think I should be allowed to throw heavy objects right now.” Hee. Amy holds back a laugh, while Reid continues that the other bowlers just need to improve their form. He leads Amy to the lanes to serve as his first student. Hannah watches them, plainly cranky, while Nick seizes his opportunity to have some alone time with her. As he asks what she likes to do, given that bowling is clearly not her “thing,” she and Amy exchange another pair of looks regarding Reid’s insanely happy attitude, before Hannah finally replies that she doesn’t have a thing. Nick, realizing that his date has no interest in actually interacting with him, says that’s “cool.” Reid, clutching Amy, exuberantly demonstrates proper bowling form, laughing loudly after releasing the ball. Hannah stares, finding it all perfectly weird. Nick...didn’t get the message after all and is still talking to her, actually, remarking on his fondness for rugby. Hannah briefly turns her attention from the bowling duo and gives him a tight smile and nod. Nick grins back at her. Granted, Nick's attentiveness contrasts nicely with Bright's behavior way back in the disastrous double date of "Staking Claim," during which he whined that Hannah was boring and which eventually concluded with his leaving to go flirt with another girl; so to that end, nice parallel, show. Mostly, however, this is all just making Nick look kind of pathetic, and not in any sort of earned way. Amy's bowling lesson having ended, Reid asks who’s next. Nick volunteers himself, and remarks that "if I get another gutter ball, I’ll kill myself!” Oof. Hannah and Amy are a little uneasy, but Reid just takes it all in stride: “Well, hey, I got a whole ‘nother bottle of pills that’ll do the trick. Just make sure you take enough – otherwise it’s really embarrassing!” Whoa. Amy is shocked, but Hannah’s the one who’s really had it; rising from her seat, she apologizes to Amy, but deems the whole thing “insane.” Turning first to Reid, she asks if “you’re honestly joking about your suicide attempt?” Nick, previously unaware of this, suddenly looks mortified. Hannah asks if Reid really thinks anyone finds it funny, and continues that the point of the evening was to be supportive of him, “but, you know, maybe you don’t need our support, since obviously, you’re just, you’re so fine, with everything. Which means, Amy, you know, you can stop pretending this is a date” – neither Amy nor Reid much appreciates her honesty here – “and I, actually, don’t need to be here at all, because honestly, you know what? I have my own problems right now that I’d actually really like to deal with, so I really don’t need to be hanging out on a group date thing, whatever, no offense, Nick, sorry” – no offense is taken, because Nick is already so intensely enamored of her that he seems amused, or something – “I’m just – I’m really, really distraught.” [Aw, she totally has a “thing” – she’s a writer. Because only a writer would actually use the word ‘distraught’ in the midst of a meltdown.] She runs off. Eh, might not have been her shining moment, but I can't say as I disagree with anything she said. Amy cringes a little. Nick watches her flee. Reid finally looks unsettled. Nick declares that he’d “better make sure she’s okay,” because evidently he and Hannah have connected so deeply during this hideous evening that it’s most certainly his responsibility to check on her well-being. Amy gazes sadly at the now-downcast Reid, who skulks off to parts unknown.

Harold examines the Abbott fridge while phoning Rose. He hopes that she’s in the car, but, as she quickly informs him (and as we soon see), she’s still at the museum, due to all the work involved in opening a new exhibit. Harold sighs a bit and is clearly unhappy, but asks when she thinks she’ll be home. Rose says it will be an hour or two, and starts to give him a dinner suggestion, but Harold replies that he’s not hungry, astutely and gravely observing that he’s “had the most awful day.” While he starts to explain the long, sad saga of James and Kathy, a man whom I assume is Rose’s boss appears and asks for her. Rose quietly tells him she’ll “be right there,” prompting Harold to ask what she said. Rose explains, and asks what Harold was saying. Harold sighs again, and glumly says “never mind.” He apologizes for bothering her while she’s busy, and says that he’ll see her when she gets home. Rose says okay and hangs up, smiling, because she’s several miles away from all the various tragedies currently playing out. Harold, not smiling, pensively rests his chin in the hand still holding the phone.

Nina, Jake, and Sam are merrily scooping out ice cream. The doorbell rings; as Nina leaves to answer it, Jake playfully ‘snows’ bits of ice cream onto Sam. That should be just as much fun once it melts, leaving sticky residue all over the counter, floor, and Sam himself. Nina finally reaches the door, and opens it to reveal, of course, Andy, who comes right on in and announces that he has the “perfect idea” for Delia’s party. Apparently someone neglected to tell her father about the Great Simpson Sister Switch! He tells Nina to make some coffee for their “strategy session,” but Nina declines, citing plans to watch a movie. Andy apologizes for interrupting, and invites her to come over the next morning to “hammer this out,” even offering to pick up her favorite crumb cake. Nina declines again, claiming that she has to go to the office to do paperwork. Andy Gets It, and responds with a quiet “oh.” Nina replies, in turn, with a thoughtful “yeah.” Andy says that he understands, leading Nina to apologize. Andy assures her that “it’s fine,” and that he can handle things on his own. He tells her he’ll see her later, which she echoes, before making his exit. Nina is resigned, while Jake, whom we now discover has been watching all this, looks a bit impressed by her decisive action.

Hannah is now hangin’ in the arcade. Nick pops by and asks if she needs quarters, which she does not. He then holds out an Icee, which he says he got for her. I am finding him deeply irritating. But Hannah is rather flattered and accepts the frozen gift, while Nick takes a seat next to her and, after allowing for the fact that he’s from another country, asks if blue raspberries are actually found in nature. That was...kind of amusing. Hannah laughs that she doesn’t think any bowling alley food can be found in nature. They both laugh a little more, before Hannah offers an apology for the evening, explaining that she’s “going through some stuff” at the moment and isn’t normally one to raise her voice in that way. Nick, however, assures her it was “no problem. I was just happy to finally hear you talk.” Hannah is flattered again, and they both laugh, again, as Hannah quips that it was a “nice introduction," prompting even more laughter. Fine, okay? Nick is perfectly fine. There is nothing actually wrong with Nick.

Amy exits the bowling alley only to find Reid, who’s apparently taken up smoking. Amy slowly walks towards him and, taking a seat on a conveniently-located bench, asks if that’s “part of the ‘New Reid.’” Reid reiterates this phrase, and Amy adds “or whoever you’re trying to be?” Reid replies that he’s “just trying not to be who I was before,” which apparently necessitates the involvement of nicotine. He continues that he’s spent the past few days “plastering on a fake smile and pretending to be happy,” so guesses that “old habits die hard.” He takes another drag and hacks up a lung, then: “And new habits are difficult to pick up cough cough choke [puts out cigarette].” He apologizes, though Amy asks why; he explains that he’s sorry for asking her out, saying that it was “unfair” of him. Amy, however, insists that she wanted to come, as she was worried about him. Reid knows this, and continues that he doesn’t want to be where he is at the moment, but wants to “skip the next part and go straight to the end, where I have everything figured out.” Amy rather unsupportively laughs that he doesn’t really think he can do that, though Reid admits that it was fun to pretend. Joining her on the bench, he confesses that he asked her out because it was during their first go-round in “September” [wrong! They didn’t kiss until after the Halloween haunted house thing!] that he last felt like he was “in a good place – you know, med school hadn’t brought me down, I still had a future...still had hope...” Amy, who’s been listening patiently, takes a deep breath and asks if Reid knows about Colin, or, more specifically, about his death and prior status as Amy’s boyfriend. Reid is surprised by this information, and Amy goes on, explaining that she initially did everything she could “not to deal. I figured if I did that long enough, the pain would just go away.” However, as she, and we, know all too well, she didn’t improve, “and things just got darker and darker until...I was almost where you were at last week,” at which point she finally realized she needed to deal with her pain, and may I just express my love for this show for not only remembering Amy’s depression, but for actually having her reference it in order to help another depressed character? Character continuity is a thing of beauty. Reid asks how she dealt. Amy explains that, for one, she stopped pretending to be okay, “and started having all of the hard conversations,” even including a few with Colin, though I mainly only remember the drug-induced one. She concludes that all of this finally brought her out of her dark place. She laughs a bit again and tells Reid that for as great a smile as he has, he can’t hide behind it for long; “I just think you need to find the pain, wherever yours is, and just deal with it, you know? Just my opinion.” Reid considers this.

Brown kitchen, the next day. While Andy writes something on a legal pad, Delia enters, carrying her backpack, and informs him that she’s riding her bike to the park. Andy, in turn, informs her that he’d like to discuss the bat mitzvah when she gets back, as he has lots of ideas. “We may even need a bouncer!” Hee. Delia, however, tells him not to worry, as Thalia’s party was moved. Andy thinks this is “fantastic,” as Delia continues that Thalia won’t be coming, anyway. Andy, in the same tone of voice, deems this “less fantastic.” But Delia fills him in on Thalia’s order regarding Brittany, which she resolved by uninviting Thalia, instead. Andy asks if Delia’s all right with that, which Delia genuinely is: “Truthfully, it’s kind of a relief. This whole ‘being popular’ thing is a lot of work. It seemed really cool in the beginning, but now? I’m over it. I may not have as many friends as I did before, but I’ll actually like the ones I do have.” Oh, Delia! You’re growing up so fast! And so well! Andy, smiling proudly, calls this “a step in the right direction.” Delia thinks she did gain something from spending as much time with Thalia as she did: she learned who she doesn’t want to be, “and until I figure out who I do want to be, I’ll just go back to being who I was.” To demonstrate, she removes from her backpack...a baseball cap! Aw! She remarks that the whole thing is “quite a process.” Andy says that if she waits a few minutes, he’ll ride with her; Delia, applying lip gloss [hee – the marriage of her two selves], smirks and notes that there’s a possibility that one ‘Jeff Broman’ will be there, “and no offense, but you’re kind of a mojo killer.” Andy takes this well, and seems quite pleased indeed with his daughter’s steps towards maturity.

A scrubs-clad Harold and a nurse wheel a baby into the room where James has presumably been waiting out the delivery. James asks if Kathy’s all right, which Harold assures him he is, additionally noting that they’ll start her on the antipsychotic meds in a few hours. James thanks him, and glances at his new daughter rather warily. Harold looks at the baby as well, and asks if they’ve chosen a name. James says they have: Lily, which Kathy loves and which was one of the last things they discussed before her condition deteriorated. Harold, smiling, calls it a “beautiful name.” Good thing you like it, Harold. Just saying. James stares at Harold rather intensely; picking up on this, Harold tells James that he can take Lily to the nursery if James isn’t “ready.” James, though, declares himself ready, and Harold lifts Lily from the bassinet and places her in James’s arms. James goes very much into New Dad mode, oohing and aahing over the baby, much to Harold’s delight. After gazing at Lily for a few moments, James sadly observes that he “could have loved her all this time. These past nine months, I’ve been so angry, I’ve been so resentful, ready for the pregnancy to be over with...so I could have my life back.” Brief close-up on Lily’s face, as James continues that he “spent so much time waiting for this part – figuring I’d get to enjoy this part – ” He gets a little choked up here. He’s not the only one. “ – And now that I don’t...look what I wasted.” Staring at Lily, and tearing up, he muses that he “missed the entire ride, and I lost the chance to love her, didn’t I.” He sighs that he’d “give anything to have that time back. Nine months with my sweet little Lily.” Harold is smiling, because he enjoys emotional catharsis as much as I do. James cradles Lily and whispers that he “would love her so much” and I HATE THIS SHOW. This stands, by the way, as the only MEoW ever to make me cry. Apparently I’m easy where the conjunction of Justin Kirk, babies, fatal disease, and schizophrenia is concerned. Harold finally departs, leaving the two alone. Fortunately, the camera crew departs as well.

Apartment. Packing boxes are all around. Bright, sitting at the counter, gloomily remarks that “it’s just so sudden” and he needs “more notice for stuff like this.” Reid, from his bedroom, replies that he already told Bright he would give him the last month’s rent, but Bright doesn’t mean “financial notice,” but “emotional notice. Break-ups, goodbyes...” Reid is moving out! *tears* Not that I really care all that much, but I'm a little vulnerable at the moment. Bright asks if Reid really has to go now, which Reid insists that he does, citing Amy’s “interesting” advice. Bright is not at all surprised to learn of Amy’s hand in “ruin[ing] a good thing.” Reid says that Amy was right, though, about his having to work through the issues that landed him where he presently is, and so he’s returning to his mother and Danny. Amy walks in, announcing that the moving truck is there; she asks, perhaps slightly belatedly, if Reid is sure he knows how to drive a U-Haul. Reid is not, but “I figure I’ll learn as I go. That’s my new motto.” He smiles, probably sincerely, but it’s hard to tell with him. Amy gives him a goodbye hug and tells him to call her when he gets home; he promises to do so, and thanks her. Reid smirks that “it’s weird – to think that less than a year ago I didn’t even know what Everwood was.” Amy observes that “a lot of people say that.” And that’s part of why it got canceled! The very day after this episode aired, in fact! *cries some more* Reid continues that now, he “can’t imagine [his] life without it,” and that he’ll really miss it. Amy, looking and sounding slightly disgusted, asks Reid to stop before he makes her cry. Join the frickin’ club, Amy. Ephram suddenly (and loudly, as the door bangs against a few boxes) enters. Ephram! Ephram’s home! I missed you! *sob* Ephram asks if he missed the hugs, but Reid assures him he’s just in time, and asks how New York was. Ephram says it was “busy,” then, looking around, remarks that he can’t believe Reid is moving out. Reid goes all Beat Poet on us and starts talking about “hitting the open road” and having the “wind in my hair,” though he ultimately admits that he’s only going to Denver. Bright: “And, like your hair could have any movement with that amount of crap in it.” Your attempt at levity is much appreciated, Bright. Amy declares that it’s time to go, and orders Bright to help her carry boxes. The Abbotts exit, while Ephram sits down with a bowl of cereal or something that I think he just stole from Bright. Reid observes that he currently feels like “Dorothy, from The Wizard of Oz.” Ephram: “And you wonder why we always think you’re gay.” Heh. Reid ignores this, and admits that he doesn’t know what to say to Ephram; “how can you say goodbye to someone who literally saved your life?” Ephram assures him they’ll keep in touch, and picks up a box, with which he struggles. He jokingly asks if Reid has weights in there. Reid, probably serious, asks “what else would it be?” Ephram carries the box out, leaving Reid behind to take one last, rather dreamy look around the apartment before making his own exit. Though, it’s worth noting that there are several boxes still there, so I guess he planned to make everyone else take them down.

Continuing with a theme, Harold is putting together boxes in a room that was clearly designated for their adopted child. Rose appears in the doorway and says that she’s been looking all over for him. Oh! There is a tiny outfit hanging on the wall – and it involves a sweater vest. Hilarious and sad. Wonderful. Noticing the boxes, Rose remarks that she didn’t know they were going to do it that night. Harold says that they don’t have to, if she’s not ready, but Rose’s only concern was the paperwork she had been planning to do, and asks Harold to give her twenty or so minutes. Harold replies that they can just do it another night, whenever she has time. Rose frowns and asks what’s wrong. Harold denies that anything is wrong, and says that he just doesn’t want to “rush anything anymore,” given that they spent the previous seven months doing so, “and what do we have to show for it?” Rose, walking further into the room, wonders what Harold means, exactly. What Harold means is that though, during the months of the adoption process, they spent every day together and shared nearly every meal, they never talked about anything other than the adoption. Rose, a little taken aback, notes that it “seemed important at the time,” which Harold agrees that it did, “but...” Rose, completing his thought, says that they didn’t get the baby, “so now you’re upset that we wasted all this time?” Harold, actually, is upset that they “wasted a golden opportunity;” while they were preoccupied with paperwork and such, “not only did we forget to enjoy the journey...Honey, we forgot to enjoy each other.” Rose concedes this. Harold says that they’ve returned to their “busy lives,” and admits that he misses Rose. Rose gives him an emotional “oh, Harold,” and walks up to him. Harold concludes that while they never wanted to pack up the room, “it’s the last step of the journey,” and he wants to share it with Rose. Then, a knock on the door!

Except that said knock, though initially heard over the end of the previous scene, is actually occurring at the door of the Apartment of Continuing Heartbreak. Bright, back to the couch and tossing a ball in the air, yells at “Amy” that it’s open. The door opens, and, at the sound of a female voice not belonging to Amy, Bright leaps to his feet. He and Hannah – who can now actually look at him – exchange awkward greetings. Hannah asks if Reid has already left, which Bright confirms, much to her disappointment, as she had, for some reason, been under the impression that he was leaving the next morning. Bright guesses that Reid could only get a truck for that day, and adds that Reid told him to tell Hannah goodbye. Hannah nods, while Bright scratches his head in a fidgety manner, making me hope that he hasn’t recently been hanging out with Sam. Hannah finally says that she should go, but Bright, making his first move, takes a few steps towards her and casually urges her to stay and “hang out.” Hannah, increasingly discomfited, reiterates her intention to leave, but Bright again stops her, in an even more pathetic way: after urging her to “wait,” which she actually does, he asks if she had a good time bowling, and smiles a little, apparently pleased at his own quick thinking. Hannah, finally moving away from the door, asks, dubiously, if Bright really wants to hear about her date. Bright makes a face and admits that he doesn’t, really, “but if we’re gonna be friends again, we’re gonna have to start somewhere, so...” He raises his arms in a gesture of resignation. Hannah says nothing, which in itself speaks pretty loudly. Bright, who’s hoping for one answer only, asks if they’re going to be friends again. Hannah confesses that she doesn’t know. Bright sighs her name, but Hannah explains that it’s not because she’s angry, but because “I don’t know how to just be friends with you anymore, Bright. I mean, I know we started off as friends...” Bright seizes another opportunity and cuts in that that’s exactly why they can go back to being friends! Oh, Bright. He pleads that she has to give him “something,” and, looking contrite but hopeful, continues with some variations on things we’ve heard before: “I know I don’t deserve it – I’m not saying I deserve it, I don’t. But, I can’t imagine my life without you in it.” Hannah admits that she can’t, either, but also admits that she wants neither to discuss her dates with Bright nor to hear about his. Bright, however, is very quick to assert that he hasn’t been on any dates, “and I don’t even want to go on dates, so...!” I wish I could convey the full measure of how pitiful Bright comes across in this entire scene. It’s kind of lovely. Hannah, in any case, rebuts that Bright will, “and if we’re talking all the time, like we’re friends or whatever, I’m just going to be waiting for that to happen.” Though one would think that Bright couldn’t come across as much more desperate than he already has, one would be wrong. In an inappropriately, yet heartbreakingly, flirtatious manner, he takes a few more steps towards her and kind of sing-songs that “it doesn’t have to be like that.” Oh, Bright. Hannah, frustrated, insists that she “can’t keep having this conversation.” Bright takes a step back and agrees that she’s “absolutely right.” Hannah concludes that she thinks she needs to find a way to move on with her life. As Bright stares at her, beginning to understand, Hannah adds a killer: “Without you.” Bright nods a little, and Hannah, seeming very much out of sorts, finally makes her exit. Bright – wow. Bright is sad, by which I mean, "Bright is about to cry, again, and Chris Pratt and the director and show are pure evil, and I now want desperately to give a fictional character a big hug and sundaes and kittens and puppies, but will have to settle for quietly crying myself into a state of dehydration."

Over in the Land of It's Hard to Get Excited About Much After All That, Nina and Jake are on Everwood’s sidewalk, having just dined in some restaurant. Nina is very excited to be on a date with Jake for the first time in “forever.” Jake declares that he’s going to be better about things like that from now on, and Nina adds that she will, as well. Jake is grinning like Reid now, which prompts Nina to ask what’s up. Jake directs her to a bench; Nina wonders if something is the matter, but Jake assures her that everything’s fine, but that he just needs to talk with her. He stares at her silently for a couple of seconds, which scares Nina. Jake laughs and apologizes and admits that he was suddenly nervous, but proceeds with his topic: his L.A. partners got the necessary funding and want to move ahead with Jake’s program. Nina thinks this is “amazing,” but there’s more, as “moving forward” would also necessitate actually moving. He explains that there are “a million little details,” but that the major ones involve a return to school and an expansion of the program, both of which his partners want to have happen in L.A. Nina “wow”s this, and, after a few more moments, continues, resignedly, that she knows how important this is to Jake, so if he feels he needs to move... Jake is very quick to interject that he didn’t only mean himself, but Nina and Sam as well. Nina is pleasantly surprised, as Jake insists that he doesn’t want to do anything without Nina; “that’s the whole point.” He explicitly states his desire for Nina and Sam to move to L.A. with him. Nina is overwhelmed, and...the show ends. Well, that was anticlimactic, coming on the heels of several scenes considerably more heartwrenching than this. Eh, at least the tears stopped.

Next time: Oh, Rose suspects that her cancer’s back and Bright falls through a window and Irv keels over and FINE, show. WHATEVER. MORE PAIN. Gah.