Thursday, August 9, 2007

A Kiss to Build a Dream On, Part 1

Just to get things started: I am, of course, not AB Chao, and I am unlikely to reach the comic or DY, B! heights of her recappery. Inspired yet? Whoo!

We open with lovely panoramic scenes of Colorado while Irv voice-overs a few lines from Paul Laurence Dunbar’s "Invitation to Love." The voice-over is continued, in turn, by Andy, Nina, Jake, and Rose, who tell their “friends and family” that they would be “honored and happy” if they would share in the “joy of this union before God.” It’s “possible” that I “may” continue to “randomly” scatter quotation “marks” throughout the rest “of” this re”cap.” In case we can’t tell quite what message the VOs are attempting to send, we’re provided with a succession of scenes featuring: Bright carrying and dropping a flower arrangement (and then, in a feat of superfluous exposition, telling Rose over the phone that he just dropped the flowers); Amy, Delia, and an Unnamed Dressmaker Lady surrounded by several white dresses; Sam Version 4.1 watching a wedding cake being decorated; and Harold, in his wonderfully Harold-y way, applauding a minister (or priest? Given that Reverend Keyes was decidedly Protestant, it feels like it should be the former, but Harold does call him “Father”) on the general perfection of his votiveholders. (Not dirty.) As Rose announces the location of this mysterious happening, a mysterious someone (Delia. Oops, spoiler!) sends an invitation addressed to one “Ephram Brown,” who’s currently living somewhere in Italy, apparently. Or Spain, and my grasp of the language is far suckier than it should be. VO Rose finally informs us that we are invited to witness the marriage of...

And, with that, we go to the reception, where, appropriately, Louis Armstrong’s “A Kiss to Build a Dream On” is playing and various couples are dancing.

Eh. Given its obvious respect for the intelligence of its viewers, this show should be above such fakeouttery and stringing along as we’re witnessing throughout this opening sequence, but whatever. Let’s play along. Oh my! Nina is wearing a white dress! And dancing!! With Andy!!! And Jake is looking on sadly!!!! Ohmygosh Andy and Nina got married!!!!! Squee!!!1!1!1!!! Now they’ll have babies and...um...yeah, I’m actually too old for this. Though it won’t be made clear until after the credits, it’s simply Edna and Irv renewing their vows, though why they all persist on calling it a wedding/marriage I’ve no idea, as no one filed for divorce last year, or anything. I remember Rina doing this in preseason interviews, too, though at least in that context her references to “a wedding” made more sense as a way of throwing spoiler hounds off the trail of which couple might be involved (though we still all kind of figured on Edna/Irv). In the context of the show, it just comes across as, well, a desperate bid for attention. Moving on. Credits.

Andy and Delia are hanging out in the kitchen. Delia asks if she can wear white to the “wedding;” Andy says probably not, but he’s sure an exception could be made (i.e. Rina's covering herself for the whole "Nina-in-white" thing). When Delia proposes black instead, he tells her not until she’s 30. After a few light-hearted moments, Delia decides it’s time to bring drama back, and says that she has to tell Andy something, but she’s not sure if he’ll be mad about it. Andy: “How mad are you not sure I’ll be?” Heh. Delia confirms what I already said by telling him that she sent a “wedding” invitation to Ephram in Europe; she guessed at where to send it by looking up the address on the last postcard he sent. Oh, yeah, and she’s been in contact with him all summer. Andy asks why she didn’t tell him, and Delia says that she didn’t want Andy to feel bad that Ephram was writing to her and not to him. Andy, finding it necessary to bring down the mood even more, cautions Delia not to get her hopes up, as Ephram may not receive the invitation and, even if he does, is unlikely to make a point of returning to Everwood just for a “wedding.” Delia insists that he might. Andy agrees, to placate her, and tells her to get ready to go to the mall by 6, because there’s a corndog out there with his name on it. Not sure what to do with that. Delia merrily scampers off, and I suddenly turn 73 years old for using that phrase. Andy looks out the window and smiles at the sight of Nina reading...something, but his expression darkens considerably when Jake walks up behind Nina and kisses her. Somehow I’m finding it difficult at this juncture to feel much sympathy for the guy who’s just spent the previous season canoodling his brain-damaged patient’s wife, lying to his teenage son about the existence of said son’s child, ignoring the emotional needs of his preteen daughter, and ambushing his neighbor with a fairly public kiss about 15 seconds before her boyfriend officially moves into her house. So, yeah. You’re ALONE, Andy. Suck it up.

Nina and Jake discuss plans for her new restaurant. Nina says she’s torn between two names: “Nina’s Noshes,” which, when spoken, sounds far too much like “Nina’s Nauseous,” or “The Restaurant Formerly Known as Mama Joy’s.” Jake shares my qualms about the former, saying that while it’s shorter, it’s not any better. The two flirt a bit about Jake getting his tux cleaned. I don’t know. Sam, who hasn't been recast yet, comes bounding out of the house and asks Jake how many more days of camp he has. Jake estimates 492, and, off Nina’s look, says he’s referring to “in his lifetime.” Nina tells her “men” to get in the car, and Jake and Sam share a cute moment over Nina calling Sam a man. Ah, to think of the fun times we could have had in Season 5, watching Sam grapple with severe attachment and abandonment issues! Alas. Nina looks back longingly at the Brown house, while Jake, oblivious as usual, wonders casually where Andy’s been hiding, noting that it seems like they haven’t seen him all summer. Nina says that’s because they haven’t.

Time to move on to a character who’s far more mature in matters of the heart. Bright is interviewing some brunette chick as a potential roommate in his new and remarkably spacious apartment. He says that though there are two bedrooms of equal size, there’s only one bathroom, so they would have to share; Flirty chirps that she’d “have no problem with that.” Bright kind of brushes this aside and asks what kind of a name “Jolene” is anyway; Flirty replies that it’s Greek and, though it’s a cliche, she makes a great falafel. Is that a cliche about people of Greek origin? It’s not one I’ve ever heard anyone use and, also, falafel is generally associated with Middle Eastern cuisine. Flirty and/or Rina needs to do a little culinary homework next time. In any case, Bright attempts to let her down gently by saying that, actually, he’s considering becoming a vegetarian. Hee! He looks over her application and observes that everything’s there; he just has one more question for her. As Flirty eagerly says okay, Bright takes a postcard out of his shirt pocket and asks if she can tell what’s written underneath a scribble on it. Flirty is taken by the postcard’s picture of a Jamaican cruise (incidentally, take note of this), but Bright reiterates his need for some assistance in the scribble analysis department. Flirty tells him that all the postcard says is “Hi [smiley face], Hannah.” Dang. Girl can fill a packing box with her journals, but can’t spare more than a salutation, a name, and a hand-drawn emoticon for Bright? That’s kind of cold, Han. Flirty asks if Hannah’s his girlfriend (though, based on the contents of the postcard, I would question if they had ever actually met), to which Bright replies, after a long pause, that he doesn’t think it will work out with Flirty as roommate. Smart boy. As Flirty leaves, shooting him a dirty look on her way out, Bright sits down to get a better look at the postcard, muttering all the while about the scribble.

At a dinner composed of the show’s principle adult characters (where Bright, Amy, and Delia are is anyone’s guess), Harold is toasting “a truly unique couple.” He says that it’s rare today to find two people so willing to throw caution to the wind, and that one would think, after five years’ on a bus driver’s salary (and there we go), Irv would have the “good sense to invest his newfound wealth in a growing mutual fund!” Tom Amandes just says this in the greatest way, incidentally, really hitting the “mutual” and generally acting like Harold’s just delivered a fantastic joke. It’s terrific. Anyway, Harold continues his toast, saying that Irv has instead chosen to lavish this wealth on Edna. Irv thanks everyone, including his publishers for the generous advance on his book, which allowed this “obscenely expensive ‘wedding’” to happen. Edna adds that she might be too old for bridesmaids and garter tosses, but, she non sequiturs, she and Irv would be honored if each of the assembled guests would make a centerpiece arrangement for the tables at the reception, as such a personal touch would make the celebration more special. Incidentally, this is so just a set-up for hi-jinks with Harold, but that’s one of the best parts of the episode, so whatever. Get down with your crafty selves, Everwoodians. As expected, Harold opens up a small notepad and asks about guidelines, restrictions, budget; Irv tells him to do whatever he wants, but Edna, who’s actually met her son, hastens to add “within reason!” Heh. She orders him to open the bottle of wine (so they just toasted with water, I guess?), while Jake’s pager suddenly goes off. Andy shoots him a look of sheer disdain, surely the sheerest I’ve ever seen on this show from a character over the age of 20. Seriously, he looks like he’s about to deliver a long, huffy sigh and then refuse to give up the salt or maybe refer to Jake as an asshat. Jake says that he didn’t realize the dinner would go so long, and Nina prepares to leave with him, asking if he can drop her off at home on the way to his office. Jake says no, she shouldn’t have to miss dessert, Andy can just take her home! I bet Jake’s given his bank account number to the suffering wives of disgraced Nigerian diplomats. Andy eagerly tells Nina to just say the word when she’s ready to go. Nina coolly says that she’ll find another way home. Heh. Smart girl. Andy is all rather stunned by Nina’s refusal of his attentions, and when Harold offers some wine, Andy suggests that he leave the whole bottle. Cheers!

The next day, presumably, Amy is hanging out in the hospital waiting room, grooving to some song on her iPod, when a mysterious young orderly, who’s really not as attractive as we’re supposed to think he is, walks up to her. Amy, startled, removes her earbuds and gets all goofy, with the “Reid! Hi! Hey! How are ya?!” Hee. Reid tells Amy that he’s glad to see her, as it’s his last day there and he wanted to make sure he said goodbye. Amy asks why he’s going, which she quickly amends to “where;” Reid replies that school starts next week, and, since he was apparently “screwed out of housing,” he’s been released from the program early in order to look for a place to live. Amy asks which med school he’s attending, and he tells her Colorado A&M – what an amazing coincidence! It’s where Amy’s going to school! Well, “regular college,” she admits, but... When he asks which dorm, she says that she’s not doing the “dorm thing,” because of Rose. Reid looks thoughtful (hmm) and tells her she’s a good daughter. As Amy watches him walk away, she devises a cunning plan: Reid should totally live with her brother in Everwood! Reid, speaking for anyone who’s ever attempted to figure out the geography of this show, asks where Everwood is. Amy, speaking to any new viewers who may have suddenly started watching with the fourth season premiere, exposits that Everwood is about 25 minutes away from A&M (which...real helpful for the viewers, Amy, explaining its location according to its distance from a fictional university). It’s “really homey, y’know, even if you’re not from there, ‘cause it’s small, well, not small, more like quaint, but not like a grandma kind of way, I mean my grandma’s [something I can’t understand because I don’t have close-captioning and Amy talks even faster than I do] seriously she drives a Harley.” Why is it that I like Amy so much better when she gets all stream-of-consciousness like this? Amy recovers herself and says that she’ll give Reid the number. While she’s writing, a nurse wheels out Rose. Amy rushes to her mother’s side and asks how she’s feeling and if she’s okay; Rose replies that she’d “feel a lot better if [Amy] would stop using that baby voice.” Heh. Snarky Rose is cool. Amy, slightly abashed, tells Reid that Rose is usually like this after the treatments, since they take so much out of her. Reid tells Rose to take care of herself, and leans over to give her a kiss on the cheek. Amy looks on with an expression that reveals mostly awe at Reid’s wonderful sensitivity, but perhaps also a twinge of jealousy that he kissed her mom first. Reid leaves, but not before turning around to give the assembled women what I can only assume is meant to be a dazzling smile, though it, along with Reid’s whole character, really leaves me decidedly underdazzled. Amy, remembering why they’re there, mentions to Nurse Judy that the appointment seemed a lot shorter this time; Nurse Judy agrees that it was a bit shorter, and adds that Rose’s last chemo session is the following Wednesday. Amy, going into Harold-mode, asks when they can book her for another CT scan, prompting Rose to ask Amy if they can do this later. Ignoring Rose’s tone, Amy asks if she can just have two more seconds, and Nurse Judy tells Amy to talk with Dr. Chao about the scan. Nurse Judy exits, and Amy asks Rose if she’s ready to go. Rose crankily assures her she’s been ready for ten minutes, and the Abbott women depart in the full spirit of peace and harmony that we’ve come to expect from the interactions between Everwood’s parents and children.

Nina and Edna hang out in Nina’s kitchen, surrounded by many bottles of wine. Nina tells Edna to let her know whichever wine she likes best, and she’ll call her “supplier” and get it for the wedding. Edna is impressed with Nina for having both a supplier and her own restaurant; Nina says that all she needs is a name for that restaurant, and she’ll be all set. Jake favors “Ninette’s,” which is apparently a nickname he has for her. Edna: “Sounds French. Nobody likes the French.” Nina concurs. Edna asks what Andy’s suggestion was, adding that she’s sure he had “a million crappy ideas.” Sometimes I love Edna very much. Nina breezily replies, “Didn’t ask, don’t care.” Off Edna’s startled look, Nina explains that she and Andy “kinda had a thing.” Edna replies that she’s “got the wine, got the time.”

Cut to Harold and Andy in a flower shop. Harold asks Andy if he’s aware that they have to make these centerpieces on their own, creating both a personal touch and a competition between the guests, which will ultimately result in Harold’s victory. Andy doesn’t particularly care and says as much. Harold guesses that this attitude is a residual effect of Nina’s having shunned Andy the night before. He takes the opportunity to quote Don Quixote: “One man, scorned and covered with scars, still stro—ooh, petunias!” I’m assuming that’s from an earlier draft. Cervantes somehow fails to perk up the other doctor, as Andy sadly walks off with an arrangement of white roses, morosely telling Harold that he’ll see him back at the office. Harold urges Andy to tell him what happened with Nina, but Andy asks if he really wants to know. He does indeed, desperately so.

Edna is a bit surprised to learn of the spontaneous kissage, and Nina adds that the kiss lasted at least six seconds. Edna marvels at this, as she didn’t think “the old dog had it in him.” She asks what happened next, and Nina says that Andy went back to his house, while—

No. No! Now we’ve got a flashback in here on top of all the conversational cross-cutting? Talk about baptism by fire. I feel like I’m recapping a Charlie Kaufman movie. Geez. Okay, so, Nina takes us back to moving day, as she and Jake carry the last boxes into the house. Nina asks Jake if he wants to start unpacking now, but he suggests that, actually, she might want to start packing...a big suitcase, because they’re going to Hawaii! Nina appears more dazed than thrilled, but good ol’ Jake, oblivious as ever, goes on about how he’s arranged to have contractors work on the restaurant and professional movers unpack his boxes for the two weeks that he, Nina, and Sam stay at the bestest resort on the Big Island. They’re leaving tomorrow morning! Is Nina surprised? Nina: “That’s one word for it!” Edna’s disembodied voice surmises that she left without telling Andy, but Nina says she wouldn’t do that to him. Cut to Andy answering the door, excitedly telling Nina that he was going to call, but— Nina shuts him down, telling him about the trip. Andy’s face falls faster than a souffle, and I actually feel kind of bad for the guy. Andy asks her not to go, but Nina insists that she has to; she’d rather have time to think about everything that’s happened, but if she tells Jake that she doesn’t want to go, he’ll know something is wrong. Andy says that there is something wrong: she’s moving in with the wrong man. Uh, okay. Way to keep on oversteppin’ those bounds, there, Andy. Enjoy the being ALONE and all. Nina pleads with him to stop, which he amazingly does. She quickly explains that Jake thinks she's asking him to collect the mail while they're gone, so now he's heartbroken and has chores. She repeats that she just needs some time to think, and that she'll call him from Hawaii. Andy, remarkably, continues to keep his mouth shut.

The Craft Store of Heartbreak and Righteous Indignation. Harold is preoccupied with “wretched Californians and their extravagances,” appalled at Jake’s spending a fortune on three tickets to Hawaii during high tourist season. After getting this out of his system, he returns his attentions to Andy, asking what Nina said when she finally called. Andy says that she never did.

The Kitchen of Romantic Confusion and Relatively Expensive Booze. Edna, now just a wee bit schnockered, thinks that this at least proved that Nina had fun, and also that Dimples probably looked great in a bathing suit. Nina disabuses her of the former notion, insisting that it was actually a nightmare; she couldn’t eat or sleep or tell Jake what was wrong, and once she saw how well he and Sam got along, she knew she “could never leave Jake,” something that she couldn’t bring herself to tell Andy over the phone.

Back to the flashback. The trio arrive home. Nina prepares to “get the mail from Andy,” but Jake spots a note on their door; Andy has taken Delia and fled to Mexico. But it’s not as creepy as I just made it sound. Sorry. Apparently oblivious to Nina’s expression of general pain and sadness, Jake wonders if this means Andy wants them to collect his mail. By this point, it seems pretty clear that if Jake isn’t actually revealed as being some devious romantic genius by episode’s end, he’ll be shown lying on the floor, eating paste with Sam.

Back to the future. Harold is proud of Andy for taking some initiative instead of sitting around waiting for Nina’s phone call. He assumes, however, that now that both have been back in town for awhile, Andy’s confronted her on the matter. Andy awkwardly explains that he hasn’t so much confronted her as avoided her. Harold reminds him that as he and Nina are both neighbors and best friends, avoidance is “both childish and impossible,” and that it behooves him (Harold doesn’t actually use that word here, though he totally should) to be the bigger person and talk to her. Andy: “I don’t wanna.”

Nina complains about Andy’s passive-aggression (ahem, Pot), and Edna slurs that men are weak. “Except for soldiers. Soldiers are sexy.” Nina continues to vent, wondering why Andy didn’t care enough to stick around after trying to destroy her whole life. Apparently alcohol turns Nina into Amy. Edna asks if he actually did destroy her whole life, and Nina says no, he just threw her. Edna switches topics, raving over the merlot. Nina informs her that she’s drinking cabernet; they finished the merlot twenty minutes ago. As the clues that these two are completely under-the-table are so subtle that we may have missed them, Edna hiccups and the two women giggle. Which also, sadly, marks the end of just about the only scene these two will share for the rest of the series.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

This is the most hilarious and brilliant thing ever. Pretty much the entire thing is making me laugh, loudly and hysterically (Chores!), but this, this actually garnered tears of laughter:

"Seriously, he looks like he’s about to deliver a long, huffy sigh and then refuse to give up the salt or maybe refer to Jake as an asshat."

I cannot wait to continue with the rest -- Thank you so much for writing these!

-Sportsgirl from TWOP

Anonymous said...

Well written article.